Wow, that sounds weighty, doesn't it? Sorry! It's been rainy all day today-maybe that puts me in a weighty mood? Anyway, it's not anything intense or weird (and I'm not pregnant, so don't anybody get their panties in a bunch)...I just wanted to write a little update since we've had some shifts in our daily lives lately.
The biggest reason for the shift is that Josh started back to school full time. He is majoring in English, and according to his advisor, he should be able to complete his degree in a year if he goes full time for all semesters (including the summer). It will be great to have his degree completed so quickly (relatively-we weren't sure how many of his classes they would transfer over and were pleasantly surprised that all he is really required to take are some English classes and some language courses! We don't know what (if anything) this may mean in terms of the future, but it is a good first step. The paperwork had to be re-filed for him to get his GI bill-we are really hoping they process that in a timely manner. We paid his tuition for the spring out of pocket-and there went the rest of our savings account!! So we'll have to see-I am somewhat dubious as I have not had good experiences with the VA doing anything in a timely manner, but maybe this will be the first time?
Thankfully, our schedules worked out about as well as I could imagine. Josh does have class every day, but he only has 2 classes that require him to be on campus-the other 2 are online (which helps with baby care!). My mom watches Ben during his classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and I am home during his class times on Tuesdays (I work until 7-7:30 PM on Tuesday, so I don't go in until 11 and his class is at 8) and Fridays (his class is in the afternoon and I am off most Friday afternoons). So Ben does get shuttled around quite a bit more than he used to, but he is cared for by family at all times, which is such a huge blessing (both financially and for my peace of mind). He is still able to come for lunch every day, which is super helpful emotionally and because he has officially shunned drinking milk out of anything that resembles a cup or bottle. (Though he will drink water...????)
My schedule has shifted, partly to cover the evening shift at work (we are open 2 late days per week-I take one, my new therapist takes the other) and my half day switched to Friday afternoon instead of Wednesday morning. While it was nice to have a break halfway through the week, it is also nice to have a longer weekend. I continue to slowly heal, though I am still in a fair amount of discomfort by the end of the work week! I am able to sleep without pain medication, which is very nice.
Ben continues to grow and be just a delight. He has started to show affection, which is super sweet and awesome. The other side of that coin is that he is developing a phobia about being "left" (why? We never leave him!!). If he sees me walking away, even just to go to the bathroom, the world ends. I haven't even attempted the church nursery (although he has also decided that worship music is terrifying...so I end up standing out in the hall with him the whole time. That's actually okay with me-while I am healing, I am not healed enough to sit on the hard pews yet, so holding the baby in the hallway seemse better to me than just randomly standing out there...lol!
Anyway, that's rather rambly, but I had some time (it's raining and apparently my patients don't want to come in the rain?) and thought I'd update! Hope you all are well-we miss those of you who are far away!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
A Very Merry Un-Birthday...
Ben is 7 months old today. Whew! I can hardly believe it! I know, I know-I say that every month, but this kid astonishes me with his super power-he makes time speed up to super mach/warp speed!
New things he is doing:
He recognizes us now. I am halfway convinced he MIGHT know who "Daddy" is (he usually looks at Josh if I say "Daddy") and Josh thinks he might also know his name (Ben).
He thinks it is hilarious if I say "Ben-aye-UHHHHHHH!!!" in a growly voice. :-)
He laughs pretty easily now, although it's so funny...something can be HILARIOUS and then we get to some magical turning point and he gives a faint little laugh (like "okay, I'm humoring you now, Mom") and then the next time you do it he gives you this look that says, "Okay, that was SO 2 seconds ago."
He can sit up by himself. He doesn't always have the best balance yet, but he can do it.
He rolls both ways at will. He can also scoot himself around in a circle, but I'm not sure he can purposely get anywhere in particular yet.
He's a fan of most fruits and veggies that we have tried so far. Current favorites seem to be sweet potatoes, carrots (though he liked the spicy ones we fished out of a soup more than just regular cooked carrots), and bananas.
He goes to bed by himself now. Most evenings he wakes up and cries a little bit (10-15 minutes) and then goes back to sleep, but last night he just stayed asleep until we came to bed! I like that better-I hate listening to him cry!!!
He has his two bottom teeth. Good heavens, I had no idea how SHARP baby teeth are when they first break through (it makes sense that they would need to be in order to get through the gums). I am no longer so gung-ho about letting him use my fingers (or anything else) as a chew toy.
He likes music still, but me singing freaks him out. Literally, he looks scared and cries.
He likes to grab our faces, bring us close to him, and then suck my chin or Josh's nose. Not sure why I get the chin and Josh gets the nose (I think I get the better end of that bargain!).
He gives Eskimo kisses by coming in close and then shaking his head back and forth. SO cute.
He still would way prefer being held than anything else. He'll tolerate some tummy time and such, but he's happiest in arms.
First up, some size comparisons...I think he was a couple of weeks old in the first picture, the second was taken today.
Below, the sloth hold is not as simple as it once was!! Daddy's getting some massive guns! ;-)
New things he is doing:
He recognizes us now. I am halfway convinced he MIGHT know who "Daddy" is (he usually looks at Josh if I say "Daddy") and Josh thinks he might also know his name (Ben).
He thinks it is hilarious if I say "Ben-aye-UHHHHHHH!!!" in a growly voice. :-)
He laughs pretty easily now, although it's so funny...something can be HILARIOUS and then we get to some magical turning point and he gives a faint little laugh (like "okay, I'm humoring you now, Mom") and then the next time you do it he gives you this look that says, "Okay, that was SO 2 seconds ago."
He can sit up by himself. He doesn't always have the best balance yet, but he can do it.
He rolls both ways at will. He can also scoot himself around in a circle, but I'm not sure he can purposely get anywhere in particular yet.
He's a fan of most fruits and veggies that we have tried so far. Current favorites seem to be sweet potatoes, carrots (though he liked the spicy ones we fished out of a soup more than just regular cooked carrots), and bananas.
He goes to bed by himself now. Most evenings he wakes up and cries a little bit (10-15 minutes) and then goes back to sleep, but last night he just stayed asleep until we came to bed! I like that better-I hate listening to him cry!!!
He has his two bottom teeth. Good heavens, I had no idea how SHARP baby teeth are when they first break through (it makes sense that they would need to be in order to get through the gums). I am no longer so gung-ho about letting him use my fingers (or anything else) as a chew toy.
He likes music still, but me singing freaks him out. Literally, he looks scared and cries.
He likes to grab our faces, bring us close to him, and then suck my chin or Josh's nose. Not sure why I get the chin and Josh gets the nose (I think I get the better end of that bargain!).
He gives Eskimo kisses by coming in close and then shaking his head back and forth. SO cute.
He still would way prefer being held than anything else. He'll tolerate some tummy time and such, but he's happiest in arms.
First up, some size comparisons...I think he was a couple of weeks old in the first picture, the second was taken today. |
| Oh, yeah, I forgot...the other new thing is he LOOOVVVESSS to stick his tongue out at people. LOL. |
 |
| Sitting with my bunny |
 |
| Whoa, there goes the balance....will he catch himself? |
 |
| Nope! Oh well...we'll keep working on that skill. ;-) |
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Health Update
So I know a lot of you have been praying for us/keeping us in mind with my latest surgery-I thought it might be nice to give you a health update.
Overall, my pain levels are a LOT lower than they were prior to surgery. I think it was one of those things where I wasn't really fully aware of exactly how much I was hurting prior to surgery (because I had been hurting so much and for so long) but it is VERY nice to be in less pain! I still have some pain, particularly at the end of a work day (lots of standing, lifting, pulling, and pushing at my job!), but it is much more manageable. I am not waking due to pain most nights, and pain does not generally keep me awake between Ben's feedings either. This is extremely helpful, especially since he is still waking quite a bit to eat! The nights where pain was keeping me from falling back asleep between his feedings were EXTREMELY frustrating.
I would definitely say my energy levels are not yet back up to par (or even really very close). Most days I feel like work is about all I have energy for (and taking care of Ben once I get home) and weekends are still more "recovery days so I can survive next work week" than anything else. Poor Josh! He is probably very tired of his utterly boring wife! I'm not allowed to exercise strenuously yet (not that I would have the energy for that! lol), but that restriction should be lifted sometime in the next month or so. That will be nice-I took for granted "feeling strong" and being at a certain level of fitness, and I miss it! Though I definitely feel much stronger than I once did, and do think my strength/endurance levels are improving week by week, so that is nice!
We appreciate all the support (from friends near and far away alike!) over the last 6 months. I have definitely had more health challenges than I was expecting!! I definitely hope the next birth comes with a few less postpartum complications. :-)
Overall, my pain levels are a LOT lower than they were prior to surgery. I think it was one of those things where I wasn't really fully aware of exactly how much I was hurting prior to surgery (because I had been hurting so much and for so long) but it is VERY nice to be in less pain! I still have some pain, particularly at the end of a work day (lots of standing, lifting, pulling, and pushing at my job!), but it is much more manageable. I am not waking due to pain most nights, and pain does not generally keep me awake between Ben's feedings either. This is extremely helpful, especially since he is still waking quite a bit to eat! The nights where pain was keeping me from falling back asleep between his feedings were EXTREMELY frustrating.
I would definitely say my energy levels are not yet back up to par (or even really very close). Most days I feel like work is about all I have energy for (and taking care of Ben once I get home) and weekends are still more "recovery days so I can survive next work week" than anything else. Poor Josh! He is probably very tired of his utterly boring wife! I'm not allowed to exercise strenuously yet (not that I would have the energy for that! lol), but that restriction should be lifted sometime in the next month or so. That will be nice-I took for granted "feeling strong" and being at a certain level of fitness, and I miss it! Though I definitely feel much stronger than I once did, and do think my strength/endurance levels are improving week by week, so that is nice!
We appreciate all the support (from friends near and far away alike!) over the last 6 months. I have definitely had more health challenges than I was expecting!! I definitely hope the next birth comes with a few less postpartum complications. :-)
Saturday, January 5, 2013
All you need is wrapping paper...
We recently celebrated Ben's first Christmas. Maybe this makes me a bad parent, but I wasn't super hyped up about his first Christmas. I knew he wouldn't remember it and he isn't old enough to care about presents. Now, don't get me wrong, EVERY day I get to spend with my sweet son is a gift, especially because I spend so much time away from him during a typical week. I was thrilled to get an extra day with him that week! But I wasn't eagerly anticipating his first Christmas for the sake of it being his first Christmas.
Christmas was really a fun day of spending time with family. Ben, as always, charmed the socks off of everyone. I expect Christmas to become very fun in the next few years. I think he'll still be a bit young next year, but the year after that, watch out!
It got me to thinking....what do we want Christmas to be like for our children? This is something Josh and I need to figure out together and will probably evolve over the years. We are still discussing it, and this is what we have so far:
We definitely want to have Christmas traditions. My family has an advent calendar my mom made out of felt years ago (before she had children). It's a Nativity scene and you add pieces (crowns for the wise men, stars, angels, animals, and on the 24th-baby Jesus! I used to try to jury-rig it so that I would get to do the Baby Jesus as many years as possible, which was probably a great math problem for me as the number of kids in the rotation changed!) which velcro on-one for each day of December leading up to the 24th. I started something similar (mine is applique fabric instead of Velcro and I am making it from scratch where hers was a premade kit) but haven't worked on it in a while. It's kind of overwhelming! I have the "basic scene" made, but I need to make all the pieces. Whew! I need to get up the energy to pull that project out again, I guess! I don't know what other traditions we want to have. This year, we did lights on our house (just 2 strands which looked a little sad, but the plan is to slowly add to them each year).
We do not want Christmas to be primarily about getting. I have this idea that I want Christmas to be kind of a downplayed day as far as gifts (and to go hog wild with gifts on the kids' birthdays), but who knows how practical that is!
We are not going to tell our kids that Santa is real. We will expose them to the idea of Santa, but only as a story/fun tale that people tell, not as an actual thing, and certainly not as a bribe for good behavior.
That's about as far as we have gotten. What about you? What traditions do you want to have or do you already have for your family?
Christmas was really a fun day of spending time with family. Ben, as always, charmed the socks off of everyone. I expect Christmas to become very fun in the next few years. I think he'll still be a bit young next year, but the year after that, watch out!
It got me to thinking....what do we want Christmas to be like for our children? This is something Josh and I need to figure out together and will probably evolve over the years. We are still discussing it, and this is what we have so far:
We definitely want to have Christmas traditions. My family has an advent calendar my mom made out of felt years ago (before she had children). It's a Nativity scene and you add pieces (crowns for the wise men, stars, angels, animals, and on the 24th-baby Jesus! I used to try to jury-rig it so that I would get to do the Baby Jesus as many years as possible, which was probably a great math problem for me as the number of kids in the rotation changed!) which velcro on-one for each day of December leading up to the 24th. I started something similar (mine is applique fabric instead of Velcro and I am making it from scratch where hers was a premade kit) but haven't worked on it in a while. It's kind of overwhelming! I have the "basic scene" made, but I need to make all the pieces. Whew! I need to get up the energy to pull that project out again, I guess! I don't know what other traditions we want to have. This year, we did lights on our house (just 2 strands which looked a little sad, but the plan is to slowly add to them each year).
We do not want Christmas to be primarily about getting. I have this idea that I want Christmas to be kind of a downplayed day as far as gifts (and to go hog wild with gifts on the kids' birthdays), but who knows how practical that is!
We are not going to tell our kids that Santa is real. We will expose them to the idea of Santa, but only as a story/fun tale that people tell, not as an actual thing, and certainly not as a bribe for good behavior.
That's about as far as we have gotten. What about you? What traditions do you want to have or do you already have for your family?
Monday, December 31, 2012
We are too cheap to send out a Christmas/New Year's letter...
....so I suppose this will have to do!
2012 was a really crazy year for us, as it turns out! But we all lived through it, more or less in one piece, and we are happy and mostly healthy. :-)
This year began with a move halfway across the country to a FAR more northerly climate than either of us have ever experienced. The winter last year was mild; we'll see what this year has to offer! The first big snow of this winter was today, actually-about 2 inches or so, I think. Snow is beautiful, but can be deadly (well, it's the ice you really have to worry about, and the college student drivers!).
Of course, along with a move came a new job for me. Actually, I have kind of had 2 new jobs. When we moved here, the clinic I was supposed to start for the university wasn't ready, so I was basically a staff therapist for 6 months. When I came back from maternity leave, I moved to my new clinic, which has taken off quickly-so quickly that, less than 4 months after we opened, I had to hire a second therapist. I enjoyed the 6 months of "respite" as "just" a therapist-it's not that I mind the administrative stuff now that I have time built into my day to do it, but it was also nice to take a bit of a break from that for a few months. Now I'm learning the university system, which is worlds apart from a private practice. There are both pros and cons involved, as with anything else.
Oh, and halfway through the year we had a baby! Ben has been SUCH a delight. Parenthood certainly brings many challenges and sacrifices (I had no idea I could survive on such little sleep for so long!) but it is utterly worth it. My only complaint is that he is flying through the stages TOO quickly. My maternity leave flew by in the blink of an eye, and then I turned around and he was 6 months old. Wow. I can truly, sincerely say that this is by far the best thing I have ever devoted my life to, regardless of the sacrifices.
But wait, there's more!
Josh started back to school. He did one class each semester in the summer and fall, and he is hoping to start full time this next semester. If he is able to do that, he should be able to complete a Bachelor's degree in English (concentrated in creative writing) by next spring. We are anticipating a lot of challenge with this as I work full time, he goes to school full time, and we take care of Ben, but he is excited about it. We don't know what doors this will or will not open, but we are trying to trust God and go with it.
Enough changes yet? Somewhere in there, I had my gallbladder removed and also my pelvic floor reconstructed. I've been in the hospital a LOT this year. I think maybe my new year's resolution should be to not be hospitalized for an entire year!
Anyway, we love you all, miss those of you we left behind when we moved, and are looking forward to continuing to live life. I'm sorry I haven't been awesome about updating the blog regularly. I have been feeling overwhelmed with life/work recently, and struggling with deeply desiring to be home more with Ben, but the reality of needing to provide so we can pay the bills. This is a season. Is it for the next year, or the next lifetime? I don't know. I'm trying to be okay with not needing to know. I am still definitely recovering from my most recent surgery, but as I slowly re-enter life in addition to surviving work and caring for my child, hopefully I will see some of you more. I think feeling overwhelmed and exhausted is just part of this season of life, but hopefully we can be in better touch!
May 2013 be filled with blessings for you and yours!
2012 was a really crazy year for us, as it turns out! But we all lived through it, more or less in one piece, and we are happy and mostly healthy. :-)
This year began with a move halfway across the country to a FAR more northerly climate than either of us have ever experienced. The winter last year was mild; we'll see what this year has to offer! The first big snow of this winter was today, actually-about 2 inches or so, I think. Snow is beautiful, but can be deadly (well, it's the ice you really have to worry about, and the college student drivers!).
Of course, along with a move came a new job for me. Actually, I have kind of had 2 new jobs. When we moved here, the clinic I was supposed to start for the university wasn't ready, so I was basically a staff therapist for 6 months. When I came back from maternity leave, I moved to my new clinic, which has taken off quickly-so quickly that, less than 4 months after we opened, I had to hire a second therapist. I enjoyed the 6 months of "respite" as "just" a therapist-it's not that I mind the administrative stuff now that I have time built into my day to do it, but it was also nice to take a bit of a break from that for a few months. Now I'm learning the university system, which is worlds apart from a private practice. There are both pros and cons involved, as with anything else.
Oh, and halfway through the year we had a baby! Ben has been SUCH a delight. Parenthood certainly brings many challenges and sacrifices (I had no idea I could survive on such little sleep for so long!) but it is utterly worth it. My only complaint is that he is flying through the stages TOO quickly. My maternity leave flew by in the blink of an eye, and then I turned around and he was 6 months old. Wow. I can truly, sincerely say that this is by far the best thing I have ever devoted my life to, regardless of the sacrifices.
But wait, there's more!
Josh started back to school. He did one class each semester in the summer and fall, and he is hoping to start full time this next semester. If he is able to do that, he should be able to complete a Bachelor's degree in English (concentrated in creative writing) by next spring. We are anticipating a lot of challenge with this as I work full time, he goes to school full time, and we take care of Ben, but he is excited about it. We don't know what doors this will or will not open, but we are trying to trust God and go with it.
Enough changes yet? Somewhere in there, I had my gallbladder removed and also my pelvic floor reconstructed. I've been in the hospital a LOT this year. I think maybe my new year's resolution should be to not be hospitalized for an entire year!
Anyway, we love you all, miss those of you we left behind when we moved, and are looking forward to continuing to live life. I'm sorry I haven't been awesome about updating the blog regularly. I have been feeling overwhelmed with life/work recently, and struggling with deeply desiring to be home more with Ben, but the reality of needing to provide so we can pay the bills. This is a season. Is it for the next year, or the next lifetime? I don't know. I'm trying to be okay with not needing to know. I am still definitely recovering from my most recent surgery, but as I slowly re-enter life in addition to surviving work and caring for my child, hopefully I will see some of you more. I think feeling overwhelmed and exhausted is just part of this season of life, but hopefully we can be in better touch!
May 2013 be filled with blessings for you and yours!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Half a year?! Already???
First, I should probably apologize. Friends, I have been a bad bloggy friend. :-) I can't even use the excuse of work/busy-ness because I was off for 3 weeks following a surgery. I just haven't been very inspired with fun topics to write about-the things that are weighing on me are pretty heavy and rather depressing, and I don't want to force anyone to read them!
Anyway, today is Ben's 6 month "half birthday." What in the world....I don't even know how we got here. Half a year seems so long, yet it has gone by so quickly. Before I know it, he'll be walking and talking, and then leaving for college!!! (okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but at the moment it doesn't feel like much of one!) He is definitely getting bigger and more expressive...sadly, he is also realizing that mommy leaves all day and we are dealing with some "consequences" from that.
New things he is doing this month:
He rolls easily and regularly. He can also scoot in a circle. He doesn't seem the have the forward/back thing down yet, but he can do 180s. He tends to push his toys just out of reach and then gets frustrated when he can't get to them.
He is chewing on EVERYTHING! I'm waiting on teeth to erupt any day.
He VERY badly wants to eat big kid food like mommy and daddy. I think we're going to have to start making some purees or something, since I don't know how to let him eat food when he has no teeth (Anna? Lydia?). I actually can't eat OR drink while nursing anymore or he will lose interest in nursing and want what I have.
He is a bit more fussy than he has been in the past. I'm going with his teeth hurting, but I'm not really sure. He definitely needs more intense attention, which wasn't a problem when I was home all day, but is now becoming a bit more challenging.
He can sit up by himself for short periods of time, but doesn't have the best balance yet, so I don't let him do it much because I don't want him to conk his head on our hardwood floor. I want to get an area rug, but the one I want is mucho dinero, and so that's on the "several months from now" agenda.
He LOVES to chew his toes. When we change his diapers, the toes go straight into his mouth..which actually makes diaper changes a little easier!!
He still does poop in the potty, but he had a virus that was making him go ALL THE TIME (seriously..every 30 minutes or more)...so we stopped catching all of them. The virus is gone now, but he still poops more frequently, so we are probably only catching about 50% of them in the potty. Oh well!
I don't really have any new pictures (aside from the ones on facebook already), but there are your half year updates! I wonder if he'll start crawling this month?
Anyway, today is Ben's 6 month "half birthday." What in the world....I don't even know how we got here. Half a year seems so long, yet it has gone by so quickly. Before I know it, he'll be walking and talking, and then leaving for college!!! (okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but at the moment it doesn't feel like much of one!) He is definitely getting bigger and more expressive...sadly, he is also realizing that mommy leaves all day and we are dealing with some "consequences" from that.
New things he is doing this month:
He rolls easily and regularly. He can also scoot in a circle. He doesn't seem the have the forward/back thing down yet, but he can do 180s. He tends to push his toys just out of reach and then gets frustrated when he can't get to them.
He is chewing on EVERYTHING! I'm waiting on teeth to erupt any day.
He VERY badly wants to eat big kid food like mommy and daddy. I think we're going to have to start making some purees or something, since I don't know how to let him eat food when he has no teeth (Anna? Lydia?). I actually can't eat OR drink while nursing anymore or he will lose interest in nursing and want what I have.
He is a bit more fussy than he has been in the past. I'm going with his teeth hurting, but I'm not really sure. He definitely needs more intense attention, which wasn't a problem when I was home all day, but is now becoming a bit more challenging.
He can sit up by himself for short periods of time, but doesn't have the best balance yet, so I don't let him do it much because I don't want him to conk his head on our hardwood floor. I want to get an area rug, but the one I want is mucho dinero, and so that's on the "several months from now" agenda.
He LOVES to chew his toes. When we change his diapers, the toes go straight into his mouth..which actually makes diaper changes a little easier!!
He still does poop in the potty, but he had a virus that was making him go ALL THE TIME (seriously..every 30 minutes or more)...so we stopped catching all of them. The virus is gone now, but he still poops more frequently, so we are probably only catching about 50% of them in the potty. Oh well!
I don't really have any new pictures (aside from the ones on facebook already), but there are your half year updates! I wonder if he'll start crawling this month?
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Motherhood
Some days, I think I must be insane. Motherhood has taken a lot from me:
My sleep
My time
My body (though I hope after my procedure on Monday to no longer feel like I gave birth yesterday!)
My looks (the ones I was accustomed to at least!)
My work/life balance (now I feel like no matter how much I'm at home, it's never enough!)
My money
In short: I will never be the same.
And yet...I LOVE being a mother. It is seriously one of the best "jobs" I have ever had in my life. The overwhelming thought in my mind shortly after Ben's birth was, "I'm so GLAD that I am at this stage of my life now." Granted...I have always wanted to be a mother. In fact, when I was a child and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, that's what I would say most of the time. You could say that maybe that was because it's what my Mom did, or what I thought "normal" women did when they grew up...and maybe there's a bit of that in there. But deep down, I think there has always been a pull on me to be a mother.
I know. It's not normal to wake up 9 times in one night (yeah, that's more than once an hour for those of you who, like me, are math challenged and/or short on sleep) and still deeply love and be pleased with the offspring whose requests for nutrition pulled you out of slumber. It's not normal to change the 12th poopy diaper of the day and think that this poopy diaper maker is SO much more wonderful than all the others. It's not normal for your heart to sing at a smile or giggle. Except I think maybe it is for mothers.
It is not all fun and games and delight, don't get me wrong! I'm exhausted, and there are times when I am very tempted to feel sorry for myself and resent the fact that there is literally zero time in the day (or night!) right now that is just for me. And yet...
I love being a mother.
My sleep
My time
My body (though I hope after my procedure on Monday to no longer feel like I gave birth yesterday!)
My looks (the ones I was accustomed to at least!)
My work/life balance (now I feel like no matter how much I'm at home, it's never enough!)
My money
In short: I will never be the same.
And yet...I LOVE being a mother. It is seriously one of the best "jobs" I have ever had in my life. The overwhelming thought in my mind shortly after Ben's birth was, "I'm so GLAD that I am at this stage of my life now." Granted...I have always wanted to be a mother. In fact, when I was a child and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, that's what I would say most of the time. You could say that maybe that was because it's what my Mom did, or what I thought "normal" women did when they grew up...and maybe there's a bit of that in there. But deep down, I think there has always been a pull on me to be a mother.
I know. It's not normal to wake up 9 times in one night (yeah, that's more than once an hour for those of you who, like me, are math challenged and/or short on sleep) and still deeply love and be pleased with the offspring whose requests for nutrition pulled you out of slumber. It's not normal to change the 12th poopy diaper of the day and think that this poopy diaper maker is SO much more wonderful than all the others. It's not normal for your heart to sing at a smile or giggle. Except I think maybe it is for mothers.
It is not all fun and games and delight, don't get me wrong! I'm exhausted, and there are times when I am very tempted to feel sorry for myself and resent the fact that there is literally zero time in the day (or night!) right now that is just for me. And yet...
I love being a mother.
I mean, come on now-this face is irresistable!
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