3 months old!

Sweet Elliana Joy reached her 3rd month of life this month! She brings so much joy and love to our lives, and we are so thankful to have her in our family!
This month she:
Is smiling and giggling more and more. Things that make her smile and laugh: kisses, tickles, big brother and sister, daddy, and raspberries!
Gets very excited if she sees her daddy! Heavy breathing and bouncing up and down until he picks her up or interacts with her...so cute!
Isn't taking bottles very well since mommy went back to work. We aren't sure if she doesn't like bottles or if her tongue (she has an infection of some sort on her tongue) is bothering her so she doesn't want to latch on the plastic.
Despite that, she is growing like a weed! She still fits in some of her 3-6 month clothing, but more and more, I am having to pull out the 6-9 month clothing! She weighs a little over 15 lbs, so she is definitely getting enough milk!
She isn't really rolling over yet, but she is getting her hands to her mouth more and more. She doesn't seem to enjoy sucking on her thumb though (fine with me!).
She is by far our most relaxed/chill baby! She is pretty content in just about every situation or place we put her at least for a while! Our biggest challenge is keeping her from being loved to death by her big sister, who is enamored with her.
She is such a sweet snuggler. She comes to work with me a few afternoons a week and it's so lovely to have her snuggled against my chest in a wrap while I work on my administrative duties. She just melts into you and cuddles!
Sweet girly, you are growing up so quickly! I am so excited to see your personality continue to unfold, but it is definitely bittersweet.

2 Months Old

Elliana is 2 months old and growing fast! Ben mournfully observed that she is getting too big and strong for him to hold alone. The only possible solution? We need to get another small one! Ah, not quite the way it works bud, but I do understand what you mean!
This month, our sweet girl:

• Has started smiling in response to parents and siblings-especially Ben. I think she equally likes Hadassah, but sister has a habit of getting VERY close to her face, so I am not sure she can see to smile back!
• Will coo at us to get attention and is giggling a little bit!
• We just started working on EC (training mom and dad to recognize when she needs to poop and dangling her over the potty to do the deed). So far she seems to know what to do over the potty, and I am still learning her signals. 
• Started having a fussy period in the evening. She can usually be soothed but it's just a bit more work.
• Is okay with being down for a few minutes at a time.
• Is sleeping pretty well, waking maybe 4 times at night, I am not holding my breath for that to continue when I go back to work, but trying to enjoy it while it lasts!
• Loves snuggling! She still sleeps a lot during the day as well, and mama just adores her sweet little form cuddled close!
• Doesn't spit up nearly as much as her big siblings but when she does, boy is it spectacular!

Precious Elli-Joy, we are so glad you are part of our family, and I have enjoyed being your full time mommy the last few months. Unfortunately there is some separation trauma coming that I can't save you from before your next month update but I will be here as much as I can.

1 Month Old!

Elliana Joy is 1 month old today! The time always passes so incredibly quickly once they come out, it hardly seems fair! I blink and it is gone. Her first month of life was fairly eventful...she had only been home for less than 12 hours when she started screaming uncontrollably and was inconsolable so we were instructed to take her to the ER for evaluation. Thankfully she was just constipated and the rectal temperature taking cured her! Then at 1 week postpartum I developed delayed onset preeclampsia and had to be admitted to the hospital for 2 days. She came with, of course. Suffice it to say, as grateful as we are for our care providers and as much as I love Women's and Children's Hospital I am not wanting to be there as a patient again for a while! I think the craziness of this month makes it actually feel like less than a month has gone by.
This month:
Elliana has gone by her full name as well as several pseudonyms including Elli-Bug, Buggy, Elli, and of course terms of endearment like sweet girl.
She has 2-3 1-2 hour long periods of alert time. She definitely turns toward sounds, though it is hard to tell how well she is focusing visually.
She loves nursing. And does it frequently and with great focus! As a result, she is definitely starting to work on her chin collection. 😉
She poops so much! It's really a little ridiculous.
Her favorite place is snuggled on mommy's chest. Skin to skin time is even better!
She is starting to hold her head up more, though I think sometimes she doesn't when she could because she enjoys cuddling.
The loud noises from her siblings usually don't phase her one bit, even if she is asleep.
She sleeps better at night than either of her siblings at this point. While I know better than to expect this to last (usually 2-3 night wakings) I am enjoying it while it does!
Ben and Hadassah both adore her and frequently request to hold her. I am sure they will be even more interested in her as she gets older and more interactive.
Happy 1 month outside, sweet Elliana! I hope you know how much you are loved.

Beautiful Story, Elliana Joy

They say every pregnancy and birth is unique and that even your prior births don't necessarily give more than a clue as to how future ones will be. That certainly seems true for me! Ben was born in a 45 minute whirlwind with essentially no forewarning. Hadassah gave me very regular contractions for 3 weeks, then was born oh-so-gently over a 17 hour time span. Elliana...well, that is the point of this story!
I started contracting regularly-anywhere from every 2 minutes to every 8-at 34 weeks pregnant. I was scared by this a bit-really didn't want baby coming until his/her lungs were ready (we didn't find out gender ahead of time). However, given that the other 2 kids came well before their due dates I figured  Tiny Baby (so dubbed by Ben) would too and went ahead and packed a bag. 35, 36, 37 weeks came and went with tons of signs of labor, some convincing enough for me to arrange care for the older kids and get checked out in triage, but no baby. My cervix remained a stubborn 1/20/-3 even as week 38 came closer. We did an ultrasound to check on baby's size, as both other kids would have been quite large had they been carried to 40 weeks. The results of the scan convinced us and our Doctor that it would not be in my best interests for Tiny Baby to be allowed to grow for tooooo much longer, so we decided to induce at 39 weeks.
Side note: I fully realize that ultrasound guesstimates of size in the 3rd trimester are exactly that-very rough estimates. I also generally believe that women's bodies are able to birth larger babies without a problem most of the time. However, I sustained a 4th degree tear during Ben's birth, and while normal vaginal tissue may stretch more than we assume, scar tissue has its definite limits. And even the low end of the weight guess easily placed Tiny Baby as my largest one, and he/she seemed determined to just keep growing in there.
As the induction day grew closer I double analyzed every symptom, tried anything I could that supposedly could start labor naturally, and questioned my body in frustration. Why was the big baby the one that was determined to stay in? Why was my cervix less dilated than with the other kids at this stage...or even an earlier one-what gives, body?? I had never been pregnant this long! And all the while I kept contracting-sometimes painfully, other times just with intense pressure. Finally I decided my MO would be, assume nothing is happening until proven otherwise. If I didn't see blood, water breaking, etc I wasn't going to be impressed or interrupt my day.
Induction day came-I tried to focus on making memories and enjoying our last day as a family of 4,  but I was so uncomfortable that it was very difficult. I was halfway convinced that we would get there for the induction and they would tell me I was already in active labor. Finally the time came. We took the kids to grandmas house, then Josh and I went to get dinner at a favorite restaurant.
Upon arrival to the L&D low intervention suites I started to get excited-so many neat options to manage discomfort, and the rooms were decorated so beautifully! I still felt frustrated, as I really would have preferred that labor start on its own but I was sooo ready to meet our long awaited little one!  Our awesome doctor came in and we came up with a plan. We would administer Cytotec overnight to get my cervix (which was STILL at 1/20/-3!!) to open and begin dilating. With any luck it would do this enough for us to break my water and avoid using Pitocin but we would just  take it a step at a time.  I let our family and our doula know to go to sleep as most likely the fun wouldn't start until morning.  The Cytotec was inserted and Josh read several chapters of The Princess Bride before we went to bed.
One of the nice things about the new birthing suites is the full size comfortable beds! I think Josh appreciated not being restricted to the not so comfy couches!! I didn't sleep but that was nothing new and not the fault of the bed! After 4 hours they checked me and my cervix had gone to 2/50/-3, which they said was a great change for 1 dose and hopefully that meant just 1 more and then we could move on to the good stuff. They placed another and left.
I was checked again around 6:15 to help with decision making-3/75/-3, so for sure I wouldn't need more Cytotec! I was feeling stronger cramping so we decided to just give my body a few hours and see what it did. I send was feeling more pressure so decided to shoot my doula a text around 6:30 saying "no hurry, just whenever you are awake, I think I would like some more support."
Around 6:50 I went to the bathroom with much stronger cramping and there was bloody show! I was excited but felt like that meant things were about to pick up so I sent our doula another text saying I thought things might be happening "quickish."
Then all of a sudden I started feeling really hot and nauseous and felt like I might fall over if I stayed sitting on the birth ball, so I got on all 4s on the bed. As soon as I did, a contraction hit that I needed to moan through. I usually only make those noises at the end so that got Josh's attention! I also started shaking at this point and that got my attention! I told Josh to go find Veronica (my nurse) and tell her the contractions were starting to come on top of one another and I had a history of precipitous birth. She came in quickly and checked me at a 5; at this point it was about 7:15. Josh called Megan (doula) to make sure she was coming and  in the space of that phone call I went from "we probably have some time but not much" to "oh my goodness, this has to be the end and STOP pushing on my back here and all I can do is loudly vocalize during contractions and try to breathe in between." My doctor sat on a stool talking me through my breaths, got me a cool wash rag, and told me I was doing great. She also helped get my arms better supported-my IV was in a terrible place for wanting to be on all 4s. I thought to myself, maybe we will have a baby by lunch, but I am not sure I can take too many more of these contractions as I was going from moaning to yelling to screaming during! I noticed people moving around the room getting set up and felt comforted that someone besides me thought it would be over relatively quickly.
Megan arrived at some point during all this-Dr. Hecker told her when she checked me 10 minutes prior I was at 7/90/-3.
And then, the familiar contractions on top of each other wave hit, accompanied by the sounds of a dying rhinoceros-oh, maybe that was me. I was honestly not sure where anyone was so I forced out "I am pushing" amongst the rhino sounds. Immediately Dr. Hecker was there checking and she let me know I could push if I wanted but she might slow me down once baby got to crowning (still at -3 station so I imagine she thought it would take a while).
Baby dropped all the way to crowning on the next contraction. "Whoa! Slow down!" I was told, and I did my best. When it was ok to push again, I pushed baby through the ring of fire....except not. Instead of coming on out like normal I felt baby come part way out and then slip back in. "Oh no, turtling" I thought even as I was urgently told to lean forward (still on all 4s) and felt the doctor's skillful hands pushing and pulling baby to safety. Then, a final effort, pushing with all I had...and I collapsed forward as our bodies were separated.
We both were a bit stunned I think. Initially when announcing the birth I said active labor was in the 1.5 hour range. When I went back and looked at the time stamped text conversation with my doula, there is no possible way that was true. Active labor (starting around when I felt contractions a lot more and was checked at a 5) was no more than 30-40 minutes. Despite this and the shoulder stick age, I had no soft tissue damage-amazing!
Anyway once I could finally roll over and reach for my baby, Josh checked gender and told me with excitement, "it's our Elliana Joy!" She latched right away. We are all in love! And as upset as I was about being induced, I would have been even less enthused about delivering in the car...witb 2 toddlers in the back..:and a shoulder dystocia. All in all it was an awesome experience culminating in a beautiful daughter! So grateful for the support of the members of my birth team, and use of the beautiful new labor rooms, even though I didn't have time to try most of the equipment! Oh, and she weighed in at 8 lbs 9 oz, making the ultrasound guess just about dead on and she wins biggest baby (for me) by a full pound!

It's A...

...Beautiful baby!
For baby number 3, we decided we want to try something different, and special in a new way. We are waiting until baby's birthday to find out whether it is a he or a she. We have a couple of reasons for doing this.
1. We have tiny clothes that will work regardless of sex. A lot of people find out and say "well, you have one of each, so it doesn't matter anyway!" This slightly bothers me because I feel like it implies that boys or girls are more desirable (or if we had 2 boys we would "need/want strongly" for it to be a girl), though I am sure that isn't what most people mean. However, in some senses, yes, we have little items either way.
2. There seems to be less hoopla for baby number 3, which is totally understandable and fine. But we are just as excited for this sweet one as we were for Ben and Hadassah! So not finding out until baby emerges is a way to make this feel like a new and exciting experience for us.
3. Not that the baby isn't reward in and of itself, but I feel like this will be another fun incentive to get through the labor process, especially the end when it gets super intense.
4. This pregnancy is seriously flying by, and where I felt a sense of urgency to find out with the first 2, due date doesn't feel very far away with this one, so I feel fine waiting.
The only slight twinge of regret I have in this decision is that I really enjoyed calling our older two by name once we found out sex. But that's okay! This one seems to go by the nickname Ben chose of "Tiny Baby" and we DO have names picked out! Since the main purpose of this blog now is to keep a record of the milestone moments of the first year so I can make a baby book later, I am going to share the names here. In keeping with tradition (for our family) the names we have chosen have elements of the unusual and are Hebrew in origin.
For a boy: Judah Mishael (ME-shy-el). Judah means "praise" and Mishael is the Hebrew form of "Michael" and means "who is like God?" Mishael was the name of Meshach, one of the Hebrews who was thrown into the fiery furnace by the king of Babylon rather than compromising his convictions (don't worry, he survived!). We hope our son will be a strong man of conviction and have a life that is defined by thanksgiving and praise.
For a girl: Elianna (Ellie-ah-nuh) Joy. Elianna means "my God has answered" and...well, Joy is self explanatory. :-) If Tiny Baby is a girl, we hope that her life will be defined by joy, and that she will be able to say "my God has answered" throughout any circumstance where she might find herself.
Either way, TB will probably go by his/her first name. It has been kind of fun to not know. Ben randomly chooses a gender pronoun by which to refer to the baby (sometimes he says "him" and other times "her" or "she."). I am excited to find out if "it's a boy!" or "it's a girl!" in the delivery room in just a few short months! And until then, we are totally taking people's guesses! :-)

Reflections on my second first year of motherhood

Hadassah Grace, my precious daughter, turned 1 this month. I just honestly can't even believe how quickly time goes by with these children. Watching her transform from a helpless adorable infant to a beautiful, adorable, passionate girl who can walk and talk has been such a privilege, even if it feels like it happened way too fast!
These are some of the lessons I have learned in this second first year of motherhood:
Cherish the moments. Even the hard ones. They go by so quickly!
On that same note, you don't remember details the way you think you will...so savoring in the present is really your best option (vs thinking you can reflect on things later).
You cannot hold your child too much!
There are very few things that bring joy to your heart the same way that your child's smile or laugh or those first few precious words will.
Siblings are amazing. Seriously, the best thing we ever did for either of these little ones was have 2 of them. Watching them interact and love on each other (and yes, there are a few little spats as well) is so amazing and I feel my heart melt into a puddle on a pretty regular basis!
Okay, enough about me. On to my beautiful daughter!
She is definitely talking now. Words we have identified are daddy, no, yeah, where'd she go?, there she is!, Buh (Ben/brother), uh oh, bath, this. But I am pretty sure there are others. Her little voice is so sweet-and so high compared to Ben's!
She's a walking champ....and many times prefers it to being carried. Which I know is part of the process, but definitely a bittersweet one for me!
She loves the swings at the playground...a little less sure about the slides.
She is coming out of her stranger anxiety bubble more and more each week, but is still very leery of letting people who aren't mommy and daddy hold her. I'm sure this will change and be a thing of the past pretty soon.
She is starting to sleep on her own at night for at least a few hours at the beginning of her night. I kind of miss the snuggles, but I know it's important for her to do that, and it is nice to have a brief interval where it is just Josh and myself.
Words I would use to describe her: beautiful, joyful, happy, passionate, determined, sweet, busy, adventurous, lovely, loving. She is, as Josh put it, "such an amazing 1 year old!"
She has started to pitch some fits sometimes and now she and Ben have more squabbles over things (mostly whose a particular item is or at least who gets to play with it!) so I know that challenges lie ahead. But you know what? Parenthood is not entirely defined by the challenges, and they are so very worth it for the privilege of having these little ones in your life.
I have decided I absolutely love the first year of motherhood. There are definitely physical challenges involved, don't get me wrong! But babies are amazing. Hadassah Grace, I am so incredibly grateful to have been gifted the privilege of being with you for this first year of your life, and I am so excited to continue to grow with you through toddlerhood and beyond!

Happy 2015 from the Stones!

Sorry, friends...this is the ultimate lazy way to send a Christmas card/family update, but I just didn't have my act together this year!
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....
Okay, so that is probably a somewhat hyperbolic way to put it, but this year truly has been filled with deeply and wonderfully joyful moments and also times of deep struggle. As I said to Josh shortly after New Year's, "I really hope 2015 is a little gentler on us."
2014 began with an absolutely wonderful blessing and gift. Hadassah Grace, our beautiful daughter, was born after a very gentle and healing labor in mid-January. As much as I can't believe our sweet girl is almost 1, it also feels very strange to look at photos from 2013 and not see her in them! We got to watch Ben become a sibling (and the sweetest sibling he is, too!) and adjust to life as a family of 4-as worried as I was about having 2 kids so close together, I truly wouldn't change a thing now!
The other major amazing thing that happened in 2014 was that Josh graduated with his Bachelor's degree in English in May after years of blood, sweat, and tears hard work! He graduated cum laude (with honors) due to his awesome GPA in English! It is so great for him to be done, and he really had some great experiences in school with teachers who were very validating of his work and talent (which we all knew he had, but sometimes it's nice to hear it from people who don't "have" to tell you that you are awesome!).
One of the hard things this year is that I developed a recurrence of my foot pain. For any friends who don't know, I developed a foot condition when I was a teenager-which necessitated 7 surgeries between ages 13 and 18. I had another surgery when I was in PT school (7ish years ago) and at first I chalked my increased pain up to pregnancy weight/fluid gain and figured it would go away after delivery. Instead, it worsened, and we eventually discovered that I had a bone spur that had formed in exactly the right spot to shred my peroneus longus tendon (tendon on  the outside of my foot), partly due to wear and tear over time, likely largely due to a work situation I was in for 2 years where I was unable to sit at all during my work day. Unfortunately, by the time we did surgery, enough damage had been done that the prognosis was/is not great. I am almost 8 months out from surgery and my pain levels are uncontrolled and severe. There is one thing left to try which I think we are going to attempt next week-if that doesn't work, I'm not sure what we will do, as I am not okay with taking prescription pain medication as a long(er) term solution-but currently without them I am miserable and struggling to function during the day and lie awake at night waiting for the next time Hadassah wants to nurse. Prayers in this area would be much appreciated-the procedure we are going to attempt will temporarily put me back at immediately-post-op pain levels, but hopefully over the next month to 6 weeks will lead to decreased pain-it should be happening next Wednesday. Josh has really been amazing during this whole time in supporting me as I struggle to deal with daily tasks and a job that is mostly on my feet-he has done tons of driving and taken over pretty much all of the housework, and even runs upstairs to grab diaper changes etc. so I don't have to-I don't think I could do this without him!
The other majorly tough thing this year was that we had to come to the reluctant realization that our current situation (me working, Josh at home with the kids) is most likely a permanent solution.We have both deeply struggled with this realization (and in some ways, we still are)-not because we think the kids are losing out in any way (Josh is an amazing stay at home dad and nurturer!) but because my heart longs so deeply to be with my babies and his heart longs to give me what mine desires. We don't know why this is this way (we have some ideas, but really, does it matter?), but it is requiring a pretty deep level of trust that God will "work all things together for the good of those who love Him." To add to this struggle, we were suggested/encouraged (edited at the lead pastor's request as he states we were not forced to leave-we were encouraged to leave as he felt the church would not be a good fit if we did not change our situation-which I suppose is slightly different than being asked to leave) to leave the church we have called home here for the last 3 years for this reason, so we are looking for a new one-always tough, made more so by the fact that we feel pretty gun-shy about that culture in general at the moment. We have been visiting one that seems promising, so we will see what happens. I really struggle to get out of the house on weekends sometimes (many weeks it is all I can do to scratch and claw my way to the weekend and then I spend the weekend trying to recover enough to do it all over again the next week) so regular attendance is hard, but we are trying to make the effort.
Anyway, as I said at the beginning, we certainly hope that 2015 is a little gentler on us! But we know that whatever happens, we are grateful for our precious family and those we are blessed to call friends! We would love to hear from any of you about how you are doing-belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!