New Mommy Thoughts

Today is Ben's one-month birthday! Holy cow...I literally cannot believe I've had this precious little snuggler for a whole month. On the other hand, it feels very right to have him here. Weird, I know! I thought that the first month would go by slowly-especially when my doctor put me on bedrest for most of the first 3.5 weeks that he was here due to some postpartum complications! But no...it's amazing how full your life can be just from taking care of a little guy. I know I've said this before, but I am SO thankful for maternity leave (especially the extended one my boss gave me!). I know it will be a huge challenge to transition back to my role of primary breadwinner while learning how to continue my nurturing/mommy role and also be a good wife. It's nice to be able to put off that transition for a few months and truly have time to recover from pregnancy/birth as well as spend time cuddling.
Since I did several posts about things that surprised me about pregnancy, I thought I'd do one today about things that have surprised me about being a mother (so far). At first, I wondered if I needed to apologize that "baby" has taken over my blog and facebook...then I realized, they are MY blog and facebook, and baby is what is going on in my life right now. The reason I have the blog especially is to keep people who want to know updated on our lives. Also, everyone has the freedom to read or not read, to look or not look...so I'm just going to continue to reflect on baby as much as I like, and without apology! :-)
Okay, things that have surprised me so far:
1. Cloth diapering is a LOT easier than I thought it was. I think I was overly pessimistic about how hard it would be. It's really not that bad! I think part of that is that we have come a LONG way from the cloth diapers my grandmother used!! (she was telling me about them the other day...and I am so thankful to have the "new and improved" version instead! She was surprised by how straightforward they are, and different from the ones she had) It does add another step in that you have to wash them, but at least for this baby, I actually think cleaning him up after he goes to the bathroom is easier/works better with CDs than disposables since they are more absorbent.
2. Nursing is at once more challenging and more rewarding than I was expecting. I thought it would be easy, because I have known so many people who have done it, seemingly (from my perspective) without challenges or problems. Maybe this is just because I was looking at it from the outside and didn't really know to ask! The first few weeks were really hard...bleeding, labor breathing techniques, even crying while he was eating (what except a mother's love would prompt one to repeatedly volunteer for something so painful?!). I'm glad he wasn't old enough at that point to focus on my face and realize I wasn't happy! Now, it has gotten much better-not 100% pain free, ,but very tolerable (and no more bleeding!). And I love knowing that I am giving him something that is so good for him. It's fun to watch him gain weight and know that it's partly because he's eating good food. :-) And he makes the sweetest satisfied sounds while he eats. I really enjoy looking into his eyes (I know he's "too young" but I swear he sometimes smiles at me when we nurse, and only then!) and stroking his hair while he eats. Now, if I could just figure out why he sometimes spits up the entire feeding....
3. Getting up in the middle of the night is hard, but not as hard as I was afraid it would be. Part of this, I think, is that I am not working right now, so I can (and do) take naps with him during the day if needed. That will change when I go back to work, I'm sure. I don't necessarily love the fact that it's been FOREVER since I've slept more than 3-4 hours at a stretch (really not since the middle of my second trimester, I think!), but I do enjoy the quiet time with just the two of us while he eats. It's also nice prayer time. Note that I will not complain if he sleeps longer though!!!
4. I was absolutely shocked by how challenging postpartum recovery has been. I'm actually still struggling with a lot of pain, low energy, and inability to be very physically active-which is very weird for me. I haven't sat this much in...well, probably ever. While it does allow me to cuddle guilt free, it has been frustrating as well. For some reason, I was thinking I'd be back to normal in a week or two at most...instead here we are 4.5 weeks out from delivery and I don't feel even close! I'm not sure if I'm being a wimp, or what.
5. Wow this kid makes a lot of laundry! My definition of gross has changed ("Oh, it's just a little urine on my shorts...you can't even see it!") but still, between my clothes, his clothes, Josh's clothes, sheets, blankets...
Well, there are probably others, but they'll have to wait for another post...Ben is waking up and fussing, so it's time to do the diaper change/feed/snuggle thing again. :-) Hope all is well with everyone, and thanks for sharing this journey with us!

 Newborn baby Ben...
And a photo taken last night! Holy cow, he's grown so much! And he's definitely his daddy's son...90th percentile for height (22 inches last week at his checkup) and 25th for weight-though I think he's put on a few ounces since then. :-)