This week was/is my first week back to work. To say I was apprehensive leading up to it is an understatement! I couldn't imagine being away from the little boy who has literally been touching me almost 24 hours a day for 9 hours or more! I wouldn't even call my feelings mixed. I was just downright dreading it, and hoping by some miracle it wouldn't come so soon.
Well, the good news is, it did not live up to my expectations! It has been very hard (the hardest thing is leaving in the morning, especially if Ben has fallen back asleep after his breakfast and is clinging onto me) but not the pure torture that I was imagining.
Things I am thankful for:
Josh brings Ben to me at lunch. This helps break the day up so it doesn't seem like I've abandoned him for quite so long, and it means he only has to take 2 bottles per day. Which is good, because he seems like he may be reverse cycling (apparently this is a normal behavior for breastfed babies where they will eat just what they need to survive during the time they are apart from the absent mother and then make up for it at night and in the evening)...he will only eat 1-2 oz total for Josh between 7 and 12, when he comes to see me, and same in the afternoon (about 12:30 to 5:30). That's not nearly enough and I am pretty positive it's way less than he normally eats, since I can pump 6-8 ounces out (and all the literature says the baby gets more milk out of you than the pump does!). And he has been wanting to eat much more than normal in the evenings and all night long.
I can only say that God must be giving me strength and energy. Because I'm pretty sure I'm sleeping less than 6 hours total per night (and those are very broken up into snatches...some nights it's been 45 minute snatches and some nights 2 or 3 hours for at least one of the snatches) and I haven't been in an accident or had a severe headache or fallen asleep at work in front of a patient!
Work is starting back at a relatively slow pace. This is because I'm opening a satellite location and we are still working on building up the clientele base. I imagine it will get super insane really quickly, but at the moment it's slow. This allows me to get administrative, marketing, and setup work done without working overtime, and it also helps me physically. To say I am not fully healed is an understatement. I am in ever increasing amounts of pain each day, from multiple places!
This weekend is a 3 day weekend. Again with the slow, easing in and allowing for recovery time.
My boss is very understanding of my needs to pump, bring the baby in at lunch, etc. It's great to have such a supportive environment.
Josh is doing such a great job of taking care of Ben...even though I know some days it is exhausting as Ben has had several days where he just wants to nurse. So he screams all morning until he comes for lunch, then crashes and sleeps most of the afternoon (that part is okay!). I'm sure that is NOT fun for Josh.
Ben seems to still like me...he smiles and "talks" to me when he does see me. I know it probably wasn't reasonable, but I was really afraid he would feel abandoned (I feel like I'm abandoning him!) and not want anything to do with me. Especially since I know he's not old enough to have object permanence yet (I know, I'm a geek...that means he doesn't understand that things still exist even if he doesn't see them).
I know a lot of you guys have been sending prayers and well wishes our way. We REALLY appreciate this...it's a tough transition for all of us, and the support is both necessary and felt.
I'm trying to stay as positive as I can about all of this. I hope that each day and week gets slowly easier and we settle into this new normal...even as I can't shake the nagging feeling that there's not much about this that I should consider normal and okay! (again, not reasonable...probably new mommy hormones talking) I've been amazed at how supportive various people are here as well....though I've actually had way more support from work friends and acquaintances than church friends and acquaintances. It seems like this transition is hard for everyone, and it's nice that people are understanding of me having a tough time!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
2 whole months of motherhood
Things I love:
Mornings are so fun! He's usually a little grumpy while he is in the process of waking up, but then we change his diaper and he wakes all the way up and he is so cute! We can count on at least 30 minutes of relaxed hangout time with the 3 of us in bed cuddling, talking/cooing, smiling/laughing...and then it ends abruptly with his first dirty diaper of the day, which he does around 8:30 like clockwork! Haha...oh, the joys of having children!
The way his eyes light up when he smiles at me. :-)
He does this really cute coo/sigh thing after he sneezes. It's almost like he has enough air for another sneeze but doesn't have the sneeze, so he lets it out as an "Oawwhhh" noise which is so adorable! You probably have to be there to understand how cute this is.
The way his eyelids flutter as he is going to sleep, but not quite there yet...
Snuggling while he is sleeping...even though it's a little inconvenient that he's not very good at staying asleep unless he is touching someone, it is so sweet that he likes to cuddle.
The way that (for now) I can fix even the most tragic tragedy for him...I think he loves his mommy.
Things he loves:
Nursing is still his favorite and he does a LOT of it! He's a messy eater like his daddy so sometimes we both end up covered in milk. We have his 2 month appointment on Friday and I am interested to see how much he weighs!!
Going outside is fun...not sure if it's all the things to look at or the temperature or what!
Pooping, spitting up, and sneezing...all at once! And then spraying dad during his diaper change. Sometimes we ask him if there are any other body fluids he would like to deposit on us!
Wiggle time on his fleece...in small increments!
Sucking on his Wubbanub...a soothie pacifier with a 6 inch stuffed animal attached. He has a lamb one and a triceratops one.
Being worn. The sling and the Moby are both acceptable but the Moby is a faster ticket to dreamland!
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| Comparison pics...look how much he has grown! 1 week old |
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| 2 months...and very serious! |
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| Totally gratuitous cute baby picture! |
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Thoughts from the other side of the curtain....
It has been a long time since I have been a patient. I have spent a LOT of time as a patient, but the most recent time was quite a long time ago. I don't really count my pregnancy/labor/delivery/postpartum experiences as "patient" ones per se, because I really wasn't sick (though sometimes I felt not the best!) and it was a joyful event, and I knew what was happening (most of the time!), and many of the "patient" things (IV, hospital gown) were removed soon after I got to the postpartum floor. In fact, my recent brush with cholecystitis was my first hospitalization for an illness/surgery since I have been an adult. Now that I feel more like a person and less like a ball of pain/fatigue/ickiness, I have had some time to reflect on my experiences as a patient and come up with some insights that may be helpful to me in my career as a physical therapist. I hope I do some of these things already (some of you have seen me in practice and may know better than I), but it's always good to pay closer attention to the "nonessential essentials" of patient care-that is, those things that do not directly help the person's physical condition but are part of the intervention nonetheless.
1. It is helpful to reassure people that what they are feeling is real, and they are not crazy. I actually tried to wait out this "attack" instead of going to the hospital, because I thought I was either manufacturing my symptoms, or perhaps there was a non emergency cause (such as gas or food poisoning). The whole way there, I was afraid that they would take one look at me in the ER, laugh, and tell me nothing was wrong. Of course, they wouldn't have laughed to my face (I hope)...that would not be professional! But still. It was oddly reassuring to hear the doctor tell me there was something wrong and he was pretty sure he knew what it was, but just needed confirmatory testing. It was even reassuring that the nurse told me she couldn't believe I was so quiet and I really should be complaining more/asking for pain medication more frequently.
2. There are several ways to say "this is normal." One of them makes you feel ignored and dismissed. The other is reassuring and says, "Even though I know this does not feel good, it is part of getting better and it will get easier/less painful." Eye contact and taking time to listen and ask questions really makes a big difference here!
3. Sometimes something is not normal, and if you assume it is just because it sounds like something you've heard before, you can miss something. I complained to one of my night nurses that my IV spot in my hand was really pretty painful-in fact, it was making my whole hand hurt and swell (to the point where she had to cut off my hospital bracelet and give me a new one because the old one was cutting into my skin). She told me the ER probably just put it on too tight in the rush to get me back and that since the IV was flowing well, there was nothing wrong with it. Later (after surgery) I winced as a new medication went into my IV in the recovery room and the anesthesiologist asked what was wrong. I told her, but then stated, "but my nurse said that it wasn't really that painful and everything is fine." She raised her eyebrow and retorted, "It's YOUR hand! How does she know?" and then checked it. Turns out the tip of the IV was at the bifurcation point of the vein and that was causing the pain and swelling, and could cause a blowout if left there (I'd already had several veins blow). She moved the IV (and you know it's bad if I request the IV to be moved...I am a hard stick and HATE having IVs started) and the pain was eased immediately. My hand still hurts, but it was nice to not have that pain on top of the others!
4. You can be extremely busy but still make your patients feel like they are important. Most of my nurses gave me the impression that they were very harried and had many things to do and people to care for in addition to me. One of them made me feel like it was fine to push the "call" button even for simple things. I can't really pinpoint what the others did or said that made me feel they were so busy (they certainly did not verbally tell me they were busy or had a lot to do), but I am certain the one had the same workload as the others, yet she still made me feel that my needs were legitimate and important.
5. Even if you can't make someone feel better right then, it helps them to know that you take their pain seriously. Pain is not normal or a state that we should accept as ongoing and inevitable, but it's easy to do when it's been a while since you've felt good!
6. Patients like to know what is going on! I was in the hospital for 3 days and on the third, we were waiting for discharge or the order to come through that I could try eating (I was on a liquid diet). When my day nurse came on, she didn't know the status of either request but did her best to find out. We spent the whole day waiting for an update (she finally got approval for me to eat, but had to wait a bit longer to figure out what was happening with my discharge). It would have been nice to know that what we were waiting for was liver enzyme results to make sure it was safe for me to go home!
I'm sure there are more...for those of you in patient care/customer service (or those who have been a patient) what are some other seemingly small things that can make a big difference in your care experience?
1. It is helpful to reassure people that what they are feeling is real, and they are not crazy. I actually tried to wait out this "attack" instead of going to the hospital, because I thought I was either manufacturing my symptoms, or perhaps there was a non emergency cause (such as gas or food poisoning). The whole way there, I was afraid that they would take one look at me in the ER, laugh, and tell me nothing was wrong. Of course, they wouldn't have laughed to my face (I hope)...that would not be professional! But still. It was oddly reassuring to hear the doctor tell me there was something wrong and he was pretty sure he knew what it was, but just needed confirmatory testing. It was even reassuring that the nurse told me she couldn't believe I was so quiet and I really should be complaining more/asking for pain medication more frequently.
2. There are several ways to say "this is normal." One of them makes you feel ignored and dismissed. The other is reassuring and says, "Even though I know this does not feel good, it is part of getting better and it will get easier/less painful." Eye contact and taking time to listen and ask questions really makes a big difference here!
3. Sometimes something is not normal, and if you assume it is just because it sounds like something you've heard before, you can miss something. I complained to one of my night nurses that my IV spot in my hand was really pretty painful-in fact, it was making my whole hand hurt and swell (to the point where she had to cut off my hospital bracelet and give me a new one because the old one was cutting into my skin). She told me the ER probably just put it on too tight in the rush to get me back and that since the IV was flowing well, there was nothing wrong with it. Later (after surgery) I winced as a new medication went into my IV in the recovery room and the anesthesiologist asked what was wrong. I told her, but then stated, "but my nurse said that it wasn't really that painful and everything is fine." She raised her eyebrow and retorted, "It's YOUR hand! How does she know?" and then checked it. Turns out the tip of the IV was at the bifurcation point of the vein and that was causing the pain and swelling, and could cause a blowout if left there (I'd already had several veins blow). She moved the IV (and you know it's bad if I request the IV to be moved...I am a hard stick and HATE having IVs started) and the pain was eased immediately. My hand still hurts, but it was nice to not have that pain on top of the others!
4. You can be extremely busy but still make your patients feel like they are important. Most of my nurses gave me the impression that they were very harried and had many things to do and people to care for in addition to me. One of them made me feel like it was fine to push the "call" button even for simple things. I can't really pinpoint what the others did or said that made me feel they were so busy (they certainly did not verbally tell me they were busy or had a lot to do), but I am certain the one had the same workload as the others, yet she still made me feel that my needs were legitimate and important.
5. Even if you can't make someone feel better right then, it helps them to know that you take their pain seriously. Pain is not normal or a state that we should accept as ongoing and inevitable, but it's easy to do when it's been a while since you've felt good!
6. Patients like to know what is going on! I was in the hospital for 3 days and on the third, we were waiting for discharge or the order to come through that I could try eating (I was on a liquid diet). When my day nurse came on, she didn't know the status of either request but did her best to find out. We spent the whole day waiting for an update (she finally got approval for me to eat, but had to wait a bit longer to figure out what was happening with my discharge). It would have been nice to know that what we were waiting for was liver enzyme results to make sure it was safe for me to go home!
I'm sure there are more...for those of you in patient care/customer service (or those who have been a patient) what are some other seemingly small things that can make a big difference in your care experience?
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Learning to let others help
I am most comfortable when I can be doing for others. Preferably in the background. For some reason, it is VERY uncomfortable for me to accept gifts from other people, and it is especially uncomfortable for me to allow other people to serve/help me. I don't know if this is pride on my part, or some deep set feeling that I don't deserve the help of others, or just my personality, or something else. Anyway, it has been true for all of my adult life.
The last few days, I have been forced to allow others to help...and a lot of it! Why? Well, first of all because I have felt completely awful. Dizzy, nauseated, in pain that has not been controlled by the narcoctics I am on, etc. That part is getting slowly better each day, thankfully! Secondly, because I have lifting restrictions. I'm only allowed to lift 5 pounds for the first 2 weeks after this surgery! If I lift more than that, I'm risking development of major scar tissue that could cause huge problems and require mondo surgeries in the future. I have to tell you guys, EVERYTHING weighs more than 5 pounds. My baby weighs quite a bit more than 5 pounds. I am allowed to lift him if I am sitting down (as in, someone could put him next to me on the couch and I could move him around and adjust him from there) but I am not allowed to carry him, lift him while I am standing, etc. I am also not supposed to bend over, twist, or really use my abs much at all if I can help it (try not using your abs for a day...or an hour...there's a reason they are called your core muscles!! It takes me about 10 minutes to get out of bed...it's hilarious and sad at the same time.). All of this means that I really can't be left alone with Ben. We need a babysitter for Josh to go to the store. Probably after 2 weeks, my restrictions will be lessened (increased?) to 10-15 pounds, which is still not much!
Thankfully, our church and my family have been great about providing food and bodies to help. My little sisters get to pay back some of the free babysitting I did for them when they were small children, and hold the baby/help me get him positioned to eat...even change his diaper...while Josh does errands or chores. We have had friends from church come over to help with Ben so Josh could go to a men's event at the church. It is amazing that people we haven't known that long have reached out to help us so much! We are so thankful.
Ben has adjusted really well to having a variety of caretakers and is doing better about accepting alternate forms of soothing as needed.
Anyway, I am slowly doing better. I look terrible though! I'm covered in bruises...I have circular bruises around my neck from the second procedure (apparently it involves being strapped into some kind of device and inverted...fortunately I was asleep for that part), mondo bruises on my arms from IV sticks (they blew out 3 veins during my 3 day stay and had another needle positioned just at the point where the vein branched, which was super painful, and my first nurse didn't believe me and so wouldn't pull it...the anesthesiologist had to pull it the next day), and of course my stomach looks like I lost a battle with a knife-wielding boxer! But I am healing, and thankfully I have another 2.5 weeks before I have to go back to work (theoretically I'm supposed to feel almost normal again in 2 weeks and be fully healed in 4-6) so the timing worked out quite well!
We appreciate all the prayers and well wishes and support...it means so much!
Because I haven't subjected you to pictures of my adorable progeny in a while...
I think this might be the most impressive IV bruise I've ever had...it was prettier yesterday (this one is 3 days old) but I wasn't feeling good enough to take a picture. Trust me, it was impressive!
And my poor hand...one of those holes is from the IV that was at the bifurcation point of the vein. Super painful! Unfortunately, yes, this is my right hand! I have a total of 9 IV sticks from the 3 day period...yowza!
I was trying to get him smiling but the stupid camera was too slow! So you see his "post smile" face...one of these days I'll catch him!
The last few days, I have been forced to allow others to help...and a lot of it! Why? Well, first of all because I have felt completely awful. Dizzy, nauseated, in pain that has not been controlled by the narcoctics I am on, etc. That part is getting slowly better each day, thankfully! Secondly, because I have lifting restrictions. I'm only allowed to lift 5 pounds for the first 2 weeks after this surgery! If I lift more than that, I'm risking development of major scar tissue that could cause huge problems and require mondo surgeries in the future. I have to tell you guys, EVERYTHING weighs more than 5 pounds. My baby weighs quite a bit more than 5 pounds. I am allowed to lift him if I am sitting down (as in, someone could put him next to me on the couch and I could move him around and adjust him from there) but I am not allowed to carry him, lift him while I am standing, etc. I am also not supposed to bend over, twist, or really use my abs much at all if I can help it (try not using your abs for a day...or an hour...there's a reason they are called your core muscles!! It takes me about 10 minutes to get out of bed...it's hilarious and sad at the same time.). All of this means that I really can't be left alone with Ben. We need a babysitter for Josh to go to the store. Probably after 2 weeks, my restrictions will be lessened (increased?) to 10-15 pounds, which is still not much!
Thankfully, our church and my family have been great about providing food and bodies to help. My little sisters get to pay back some of the free babysitting I did for them when they were small children, and hold the baby/help me get him positioned to eat...even change his diaper...while Josh does errands or chores. We have had friends from church come over to help with Ben so Josh could go to a men's event at the church. It is amazing that people we haven't known that long have reached out to help us so much! We are so thankful.
Ben has adjusted really well to having a variety of caretakers and is doing better about accepting alternate forms of soothing as needed.
Anyway, I am slowly doing better. I look terrible though! I'm covered in bruises...I have circular bruises around my neck from the second procedure (apparently it involves being strapped into some kind of device and inverted...fortunately I was asleep for that part), mondo bruises on my arms from IV sticks (they blew out 3 veins during my 3 day stay and had another needle positioned just at the point where the vein branched, which was super painful, and my first nurse didn't believe me and so wouldn't pull it...the anesthesiologist had to pull it the next day), and of course my stomach looks like I lost a battle with a knife-wielding boxer! But I am healing, and thankfully I have another 2.5 weeks before I have to go back to work (theoretically I'm supposed to feel almost normal again in 2 weeks and be fully healed in 4-6) so the timing worked out quite well!
We appreciate all the prayers and well wishes and support...it means so much!
I think this might be the most impressive IV bruise I've ever had...it was prettier yesterday (this one is 3 days old) but I wasn't feeling good enough to take a picture. Trust me, it was impressive!
And my poor hand...one of those holes is from the IV that was at the bifurcation point of the vein. Super painful! Unfortunately, yes, this is my right hand! I have a total of 9 IV sticks from the 3 day period...yowza!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Murphy's Gallbladder
Well, I must say, I was not expecting to be typing another blog post from a hospital bed quite this soon! Yet, here we are...this account is for those of you who are morbidly curious (or, like me, very interested in the human body) and want the long version of the story. :-)
The problem started on Saturday, August 4th, at about 9 AM. Josh was making breakfast and I was giving Ben his breakfast when all of a sudden I got a cramping sensation in my abdomen. "How weird," I thought, and put Ben on his fleece while I went to the bathroom to see if that helped. Nope. I came back just as Josh said, "Breakfast is ready!" I had zero desire to eat! I had literally gone from feeling completely fine to feeling like I was in the transition phase of labor in less than 5 minutes. I let Josh know I wasn't feeling well and went to lie down in bed to see if that helped. Nope, that made things WAY worse! I was moaning and unable to keep myself from crying and making noise. Josh came in and suggested going to the hospital. I said, "For what?" and he said, "Ummm, sudden sharp abdominal pain!!"
After about 2 more minutes, that sounded like a really good idea, as the pain was not letting up at all. I let Josh know, and he started getting ready to go. Then I got hit with another wave of worsening pain that dropped me to all fours...I was unable to get up. Josh had to put Ben in the car, then pick me up and drag me to the car. We drove to the emergency room at Women's and Children's hospital and they took me right back (I guess I must have looked pretty bad). We waited for what felt like a really long time as I used labor breathing techniques, position changes, whatever I could think of, to try to manage the pain. Finally, the doctor came in and I tried to provide coherent answers to his questions. He had me lie down and poked around. Almost immediately, he found a place in my right upper quadrant that worsened the pain even more (which I would have sworn was impossible). "Oh," he said, "I think it's your gallbladder."
I started drinking contrast dye for a CT scan, but the doctor changed his mind and decided to do an ultrasound instead. The ultrasound confirmed the initial diagnosis, and I was given pain medication. I ended up having a laparoscopic choecystectomy (they chopped my gallbladder up into tiny pieces and pulled it out through holes in my abdomen) that evening around 6. The explanation I was given was that the hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy can cause the gallbladder to change the amount of cholesterol that it secretes, which can cause gallstones. The gallstones can then plug ducts and cause irritation leading to infection. I had an infection when I came in, as well as several blockages. The doctor who did the surgery let me know that the removal should take care of the problem, but in 1-2% of people, a stone has made its way into the common bile duct and will need to be removed.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am the 1-2%. Unfortunately, that meant I had to have another procedure the next day (I went under anesthesia 2 days in a row...yuck). Because it was the weekend, we had to wait quite a while for an operating room to come available, and there were some equipment mixups that made the wait even longer. I went over 48 hours without eating or drinking. They did give me IV fluid, but somehow I was still extremely dehydrated (went 18 hours without urinating, and then when I did manage to, it was almost red...never a good sign!). Thankfully, it looks like we are going to be okay now, and I just got the news that I can go home this evening. We are just supposed to watch for signs of infection or pancreatitis. The good news is that I feel much better now than I felt all day yesterday (Sunday) because I am now rehydrated. Also, part of the reason I was feeling sick on Sunday was because my bile duct was blocked and so some of my liver enzymes and biliruben were getting out of balance. I felt better from that stuff almost as soon as I woke up from the second procedure. Now, I am just experiencing postoperative pain, which is to be expected.
The hardest thing through all of this was not being able to feed Ben for a long time. On Saturday, he was so sad....he was crying, and asking to nurse, and I could tell when he looked at me that he didn't understand why I was denying him what he needed to feel better. Thankfully, I had started a freezer stash for when I return to work, so we did have breastmilk to give him, but he nurses for comfort just as much as for food sometimes. I wasn't able to nurse him for about 30 hours total. Thankfully, I was able to pump during this time. I was really worried about my milk drying up as a combination of not nursing, not eating, and being dehydrated, but thankfully it looks like it is okay. Production has dropped a little, but overall I think I still have enough and should be able to get it back up to where it was quickly.
Anyway, sorry if this is a little disjointed-I'm still on painkillers and still in pain, but wanted to give you guys an update. We appreciate the concern and well wishes! I am thankful that this happened while I was on maternity leave anyway, and I don't think it will change my timelines for going back to work, though I am going to have to rest more the next few weeks than I was originally planning for. I think it will all work out, though!
It definitely seems like recovery from this pregnancy has been much more eventful than I would have hoped! I had never heard of this being a postpartum complication, but apparently it is something that happens. I don't think it is super common, but it is also not unheard of. Continued prayers are appreciated, especially since Josh will have to help a lot more with Ben (especially at night) than he has been so far as I am still having trouble moving around and can't really lift him. I can only feed him if someone helps me get positioned! The good news is, this particular complication can't happen again next time since I no longer have a gallbladder!
The problem started on Saturday, August 4th, at about 9 AM. Josh was making breakfast and I was giving Ben his breakfast when all of a sudden I got a cramping sensation in my abdomen. "How weird," I thought, and put Ben on his fleece while I went to the bathroom to see if that helped. Nope. I came back just as Josh said, "Breakfast is ready!" I had zero desire to eat! I had literally gone from feeling completely fine to feeling like I was in the transition phase of labor in less than 5 minutes. I let Josh know I wasn't feeling well and went to lie down in bed to see if that helped. Nope, that made things WAY worse! I was moaning and unable to keep myself from crying and making noise. Josh came in and suggested going to the hospital. I said, "For what?" and he said, "Ummm, sudden sharp abdominal pain!!"
After about 2 more minutes, that sounded like a really good idea, as the pain was not letting up at all. I let Josh know, and he started getting ready to go. Then I got hit with another wave of worsening pain that dropped me to all fours...I was unable to get up. Josh had to put Ben in the car, then pick me up and drag me to the car. We drove to the emergency room at Women's and Children's hospital and they took me right back (I guess I must have looked pretty bad). We waited for what felt like a really long time as I used labor breathing techniques, position changes, whatever I could think of, to try to manage the pain. Finally, the doctor came in and I tried to provide coherent answers to his questions. He had me lie down and poked around. Almost immediately, he found a place in my right upper quadrant that worsened the pain even more (which I would have sworn was impossible). "Oh," he said, "I think it's your gallbladder."
I started drinking contrast dye for a CT scan, but the doctor changed his mind and decided to do an ultrasound instead. The ultrasound confirmed the initial diagnosis, and I was given pain medication. I ended up having a laparoscopic choecystectomy (they chopped my gallbladder up into tiny pieces and pulled it out through holes in my abdomen) that evening around 6. The explanation I was given was that the hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy can cause the gallbladder to change the amount of cholesterol that it secretes, which can cause gallstones. The gallstones can then plug ducts and cause irritation leading to infection. I had an infection when I came in, as well as several blockages. The doctor who did the surgery let me know that the removal should take care of the problem, but in 1-2% of people, a stone has made its way into the common bile duct and will need to be removed.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am the 1-2%. Unfortunately, that meant I had to have another procedure the next day (I went under anesthesia 2 days in a row...yuck). Because it was the weekend, we had to wait quite a while for an operating room to come available, and there were some equipment mixups that made the wait even longer. I went over 48 hours without eating or drinking. They did give me IV fluid, but somehow I was still extremely dehydrated (went 18 hours without urinating, and then when I did manage to, it was almost red...never a good sign!). Thankfully, it looks like we are going to be okay now, and I just got the news that I can go home this evening. We are just supposed to watch for signs of infection or pancreatitis. The good news is that I feel much better now than I felt all day yesterday (Sunday) because I am now rehydrated. Also, part of the reason I was feeling sick on Sunday was because my bile duct was blocked and so some of my liver enzymes and biliruben were getting out of balance. I felt better from that stuff almost as soon as I woke up from the second procedure. Now, I am just experiencing postoperative pain, which is to be expected.
The hardest thing through all of this was not being able to feed Ben for a long time. On Saturday, he was so sad....he was crying, and asking to nurse, and I could tell when he looked at me that he didn't understand why I was denying him what he needed to feel better. Thankfully, I had started a freezer stash for when I return to work, so we did have breastmilk to give him, but he nurses for comfort just as much as for food sometimes. I wasn't able to nurse him for about 30 hours total. Thankfully, I was able to pump during this time. I was really worried about my milk drying up as a combination of not nursing, not eating, and being dehydrated, but thankfully it looks like it is okay. Production has dropped a little, but overall I think I still have enough and should be able to get it back up to where it was quickly.
Anyway, sorry if this is a little disjointed-I'm still on painkillers and still in pain, but wanted to give you guys an update. We appreciate the concern and well wishes! I am thankful that this happened while I was on maternity leave anyway, and I don't think it will change my timelines for going back to work, though I am going to have to rest more the next few weeks than I was originally planning for. I think it will all work out, though!
It definitely seems like recovery from this pregnancy has been much more eventful than I would have hoped! I had never heard of this being a postpartum complication, but apparently it is something that happens. I don't think it is super common, but it is also not unheard of. Continued prayers are appreciated, especially since Josh will have to help a lot more with Ben (especially at night) than he has been so far as I am still having trouble moving around and can't really lift him. I can only feed him if someone helps me get positioned! The good news is, this particular complication can't happen again next time since I no longer have a gallbladder!
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