It's A...

...Beautiful baby!
For baby number 3, we decided we want to try something different, and special in a new way. We are waiting until baby's birthday to find out whether it is a he or a she. We have a couple of reasons for doing this.
1. We have tiny clothes that will work regardless of sex. A lot of people find out and say "well, you have one of each, so it doesn't matter anyway!" This slightly bothers me because I feel like it implies that boys or girls are more desirable (or if we had 2 boys we would "need/want strongly" for it to be a girl), though I am sure that isn't what most people mean. However, in some senses, yes, we have little items either way.
2. There seems to be less hoopla for baby number 3, which is totally understandable and fine. But we are just as excited for this sweet one as we were for Ben and Hadassah! So not finding out until baby emerges is a way to make this feel like a new and exciting experience for us.
3. Not that the baby isn't reward in and of itself, but I feel like this will be another fun incentive to get through the labor process, especially the end when it gets super intense.
4. This pregnancy is seriously flying by, and where I felt a sense of urgency to find out with the first 2, due date doesn't feel very far away with this one, so I feel fine waiting.
The only slight twinge of regret I have in this decision is that I really enjoyed calling our older two by name once we found out sex. But that's okay! This one seems to go by the nickname Ben chose of "Tiny Baby" and we DO have names picked out! Since the main purpose of this blog now is to keep a record of the milestone moments of the first year so I can make a baby book later, I am going to share the names here. In keeping with tradition (for our family) the names we have chosen have elements of the unusual and are Hebrew in origin.
For a boy: Judah Mishael (ME-shy-el). Judah means "praise" and Mishael is the Hebrew form of "Michael" and means "who is like God?" Mishael was the name of Meshach, one of the Hebrews who was thrown into the fiery furnace by the king of Babylon rather than compromising his convictions (don't worry, he survived!). We hope our son will be a strong man of conviction and have a life that is defined by thanksgiving and praise.
For a girl: Elianna (Ellie-ah-nuh) Joy. Elianna means "my God has answered" and...well, Joy is self explanatory. :-) If Tiny Baby is a girl, we hope that her life will be defined by joy, and that she will be able to say "my God has answered" throughout any circumstance where she might find herself.
Either way, TB will probably go by his/her first name. It has been kind of fun to not know. Ben randomly chooses a gender pronoun by which to refer to the baby (sometimes he says "him" and other times "her" or "she."). I am excited to find out if "it's a boy!" or "it's a girl!" in the delivery room in just a few short months! And until then, we are totally taking people's guesses! :-)

Reflections on my second first year of motherhood

Hadassah Grace, my precious daughter, turned 1 this month. I just honestly can't even believe how quickly time goes by with these children. Watching her transform from a helpless adorable infant to a beautiful, adorable, passionate girl who can walk and talk has been such a privilege, even if it feels like it happened way too fast!
These are some of the lessons I have learned in this second first year of motherhood:
Cherish the moments. Even the hard ones. They go by so quickly!
On that same note, you don't remember details the way you think you will...so savoring in the present is really your best option (vs thinking you can reflect on things later).
You cannot hold your child too much!
There are very few things that bring joy to your heart the same way that your child's smile or laugh or those first few precious words will.
Siblings are amazing. Seriously, the best thing we ever did for either of these little ones was have 2 of them. Watching them interact and love on each other (and yes, there are a few little spats as well) is so amazing and I feel my heart melt into a puddle on a pretty regular basis!
Okay, enough about me. On to my beautiful daughter!
She is definitely talking now. Words we have identified are daddy, no, yeah, where'd she go?, there she is!, Buh (Ben/brother), uh oh, bath, this. But I am pretty sure there are others. Her little voice is so sweet-and so high compared to Ben's!
She's a walking champ....and many times prefers it to being carried. Which I know is part of the process, but definitely a bittersweet one for me!
She loves the swings at the playground...a little less sure about the slides.
She is coming out of her stranger anxiety bubble more and more each week, but is still very leery of letting people who aren't mommy and daddy hold her. I'm sure this will change and be a thing of the past pretty soon.
She is starting to sleep on her own at night for at least a few hours at the beginning of her night. I kind of miss the snuggles, but I know it's important for her to do that, and it is nice to have a brief interval where it is just Josh and myself.
Words I would use to describe her: beautiful, joyful, happy, passionate, determined, sweet, busy, adventurous, lovely, loving. She is, as Josh put it, "such an amazing 1 year old!"
She has started to pitch some fits sometimes and now she and Ben have more squabbles over things (mostly whose a particular item is or at least who gets to play with it!) so I know that challenges lie ahead. But you know what? Parenthood is not entirely defined by the challenges, and they are so very worth it for the privilege of having these little ones in your life.
I have decided I absolutely love the first year of motherhood. There are definitely physical challenges involved, don't get me wrong! But babies are amazing. Hadassah Grace, I am so incredibly grateful to have been gifted the privilege of being with you for this first year of your life, and I am so excited to continue to grow with you through toddlerhood and beyond!

Happy 2015 from the Stones!

Sorry, friends...this is the ultimate lazy way to send a Christmas card/family update, but I just didn't have my act together this year!
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....
Okay, so that is probably a somewhat hyperbolic way to put it, but this year truly has been filled with deeply and wonderfully joyful moments and also times of deep struggle. As I said to Josh shortly after New Year's, "I really hope 2015 is a little gentler on us."
2014 began with an absolutely wonderful blessing and gift. Hadassah Grace, our beautiful daughter, was born after a very gentle and healing labor in mid-January. As much as I can't believe our sweet girl is almost 1, it also feels very strange to look at photos from 2013 and not see her in them! We got to watch Ben become a sibling (and the sweetest sibling he is, too!) and adjust to life as a family of 4-as worried as I was about having 2 kids so close together, I truly wouldn't change a thing now!
The other major amazing thing that happened in 2014 was that Josh graduated with his Bachelor's degree in English in May after years of blood, sweat, and tears hard work! He graduated cum laude (with honors) due to his awesome GPA in English! It is so great for him to be done, and he really had some great experiences in school with teachers who were very validating of his work and talent (which we all knew he had, but sometimes it's nice to hear it from people who don't "have" to tell you that you are awesome!).
One of the hard things this year is that I developed a recurrence of my foot pain. For any friends who don't know, I developed a foot condition when I was a teenager-which necessitated 7 surgeries between ages 13 and 18. I had another surgery when I was in PT school (7ish years ago) and at first I chalked my increased pain up to pregnancy weight/fluid gain and figured it would go away after delivery. Instead, it worsened, and we eventually discovered that I had a bone spur that had formed in exactly the right spot to shred my peroneus longus tendon (tendon on  the outside of my foot), partly due to wear and tear over time, likely largely due to a work situation I was in for 2 years where I was unable to sit at all during my work day. Unfortunately, by the time we did surgery, enough damage had been done that the prognosis was/is not great. I am almost 8 months out from surgery and my pain levels are uncontrolled and severe. There is one thing left to try which I think we are going to attempt next week-if that doesn't work, I'm not sure what we will do, as I am not okay with taking prescription pain medication as a long(er) term solution-but currently without them I am miserable and struggling to function during the day and lie awake at night waiting for the next time Hadassah wants to nurse. Prayers in this area would be much appreciated-the procedure we are going to attempt will temporarily put me back at immediately-post-op pain levels, but hopefully over the next month to 6 weeks will lead to decreased pain-it should be happening next Wednesday. Josh has really been amazing during this whole time in supporting me as I struggle to deal with daily tasks and a job that is mostly on my feet-he has done tons of driving and taken over pretty much all of the housework, and even runs upstairs to grab diaper changes etc. so I don't have to-I don't think I could do this without him!
The other majorly tough thing this year was that we had to come to the reluctant realization that our current situation (me working, Josh at home with the kids) is most likely a permanent solution.We have both deeply struggled with this realization (and in some ways, we still are)-not because we think the kids are losing out in any way (Josh is an amazing stay at home dad and nurturer!) but because my heart longs so deeply to be with my babies and his heart longs to give me what mine desires. We don't know why this is this way (we have some ideas, but really, does it matter?), but it is requiring a pretty deep level of trust that God will "work all things together for the good of those who love Him." To add to this struggle, we were suggested/encouraged (edited at the lead pastor's request as he states we were not forced to leave-we were encouraged to leave as he felt the church would not be a good fit if we did not change our situation-which I suppose is slightly different than being asked to leave) to leave the church we have called home here for the last 3 years for this reason, so we are looking for a new one-always tough, made more so by the fact that we feel pretty gun-shy about that culture in general at the moment. We have been visiting one that seems promising, so we will see what happens. I really struggle to get out of the house on weekends sometimes (many weeks it is all I can do to scratch and claw my way to the weekend and then I spend the weekend trying to recover enough to do it all over again the next week) so regular attendance is hard, but we are trying to make the effort.
Anyway, as I said at the beginning, we certainly hope that 2015 is a little gentler on us! But we know that whatever happens, we are grateful for our precious family and those we are blessed to call friends! We would love to hear from any of you about how you are doing-belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Hadassah Grace, 11 months

This is for my precious 11-month-old, so you will know what you were like and how you were loved during your 11th month of life. :-)
Hadassah Grace has perfected the art of walking this month. She went from taking a few tentative steps (with lots of tumbles) to walking all over the place (still with some tumbles, but not as many!) and is also now able to squat down and stand back up unassisted and stand without pulling up on anything. It's crazy how she has seemed to transform into a toddler this month-I am sure not related to the walking specifically, but they seem to have happened at the same time!
She is talking a little bit. Words I am certain I have heard include: Daddy, hi, heyyyyy, "where'd she go? Der she is!" (while playing peekaboo), bye (while waving), and yes. She has also become much more expressive this month.
There has been some frustration this month too, as she has many times when she seems to simultaneously want to be down exploring and held, so that is always interesting!
She is eating just about everything now. She seems to especially like meat, pomegranates, grapes, and cheese (we just started cheese a week or so ago).
She got 9 (yes, 9) teeth at the same time last week while we were at Granna and Pawesome's house. 5 top front teeth and 4 molars. Given that she has only gotten 1 at a time up until now, that was impressive (and clearly very uncomfortable, poor baby!). So now she has 12 total. I guess if you're going to get them, go for it all at once!
She loves her brother so much and likes to give him kisses or pat his head while they nurse together. She also likes to give him hugs and holds his hand sometimes. She looks for him if we ask her where Ben is. :-)
She still nurses a lot (and frequently at night)-I am sure she needs it to replace all the calories she is burning by exploring non stop!
She is still our little night owl and often doesn't want to go to bed until we do, which I guess is good since she still doesn't like to sleep unless she is touching people. She is still pretty good about falling asleep wherever though, so that is helpful in terms of her not needing to be in a super quiet/dark environment for sleep to occur.
I cannot believe our sweet girl is this old! We love having her in our family-and yet I view the onward rush of time with a bit of a bittersweet taste in my mouth as I wish things would slow down just a tad so I could enjoy them more deeply! But...onward and upward!