I am standing here at work with no patients (it's one of those days where EVERYONE wanted to come in at the same time, so it's literally feast or famine in terms of busy-ness today) and got to thinking that I need to do a post about how it has been good for our family that I have been a working mom for the last 8 months. I think it is way too easy for me to focus on the bad/negative things (and as with anything else in life, there are both positives and negatives to this situation!) like how much of my son's life I am missing, how exhausting it is to stay up all night and then drag myself out of bed at 6:30 AM, etc. etc. But I think that the key to not falling into "sorry for myself" land is a thankful heart and recognizing the blessings where they come, so I am going to make a list.
1. When I am home with my son and husband, I am able to spend quality time with them and focus on our relationships. Because Josh takes care of the house and really spoils me in the domestic "arena" I am able to really be present when I am at home. I think this is an area where I might struggle if I stayed home-always feeling I should be "doing" more (in the house, etc.) but that is not a struggle I have right now.
2. I have no idea how we would have been able to handle all of the many surgeries and hospitalizations if I had been a SAHM and Josh had been working! Especially since my restrictions after the gallbladder surgery and the pelvic floor reconstruction included not lifting >5 lbs for several weeks (and Ben weighs a sight more than 5 pounds!). Because Josh was the stay at home parent, he was able to care for us both during those times.
3. The obvious-we have a roof over our heads and food on our table.
4. I love coming home every day and seeing Ben's face light up when he sees me!
5. I treasure the times when I am able to come home a little early, or take a personal day. All of a sudden, mundane things like housework and playing with Ben are cherished moments! I'm afraid with my personality, I might lose those little joys in the repetition of every day life if I was a stay at home mom.
I don't know if a time will come when I'm not working full time. If it does, I hope I am able to use the lessons I have learned to really make the most of that opportunity. If it doesn't, I am so thankful for a job that is family friendly, a husband who is super supportive, and the simple joys of a baby's laugh/smile. :-)
Monday, February 18, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Elimination Communication-Our Experience
So I realized I promised before Ben was born to do a post about our experience with EC if we ended up doing it (that was one of those things that we thought we wanted to do, but weren't positive we actually would end up following through). Here we are, 8 months later, and we did do it, but I didn't fulfill my promise about the post. Oops! :-) So here you go.
We are not experts by any means! We first learned about it from my sister in law who did it with her kiddos. I thought it was an awesome idea but was skeptical as to whether it would work for us. I knew that, as a working mama, I would not be able to be nearly as consistent as she is with it-and both her her littles are girls, whereas mine is a boy! So I wasn't sure how those factors might change our success with it.
I set my goals fairly low at the beginning. My ideal world was that by the time Ben was eating solid foods, he would be doing all or most of his poop in the potty. Breastmilk poop is not a big deal or hard to clean. Solid food poop-a whole other (stinky) ball of wax!
I don't remember exactly when we started taking Ben to the potty. It was while I was still on maternity leave, so he must have been less than 3 months old. We noticed around this time that he almost always pooped within 30 minutes of waking up, so we would wait on the bed with him until he started to get "that look" and make some straining noises, and then rip off his diaper and rush to the potty. He wasn't old enough to sit up yet, so we sort of had him on his back (supported in our arms) with his butt over the potty. The first few times were a little messy (sometimes we didn't start rushing in time, other times we misread when he was done), but eventually, we started to notice a pattern: he woke up (often with a dry diaper) and waited for us to take him potty before he went.
We started trying to pay attention at other times when we thought he might need to go. He makes a certain face and has a specific grunting noise when he is getting ready to poop (sorry that's kinda vague-but I've heard that different babies have different signals) so we started being able to catch it in the potty. Hooray! At first, I was "cuing" him by hissing (you're supposed to cue them so they know it's time to go) but then I went back to work and his Dad started taking him-Josh thought it would be fun/funny to grunt at him when he wanted him to go, so that became his signal. However, Ben thinks it's hilarious when I grunt at him (it probably is, to be fair) so now he doesn't really have an audible signal, at least from me (unless you count me telling him, "Okay, I'm ready!" once we are situated over the potty)...but I still think he knows what to do, as he ALWAYS does some kind of potty when we get him into position.
We went through a bad run (haha) of diarrhea for about a week-he was pooping every 30 minutes, so we didn't even try to get him to the potty for most of those. I was a little worried that he would forget, but no-once he started moving his bowels more normally, we resumed pooping in the potty without a problem.
I am not trying to get him to pee in the potty (though he almost always does when he poops and sometimes he just pees if I have misread his need/desire to poop)-I think this would be stressful for us and him, and I don't mind washing wet diapers in the slightest. I also don't worry about it if we have an accident and he ends up pooping in his diaper-in all, we are very chill about it. At first, I wondered if I was really saving us time, because the whole "potty" experience definitely took way longer than changing a diaper! However, now he has gotten pretty fast, and it's maybe 1-3 minutes at most! We have honestly used our diaper sprayer to hose down his little tushy after he goes way more often than we have used it to spray diapers (he doesn't seem to mind and it gets his butt clean way better than toilet paper!).
As for him being a boy-the biggest issue with this is that it's hard to aim him, and if I shift him while he is peeing, he stops. So we have perfected the art of using the back of the potty seat as a backboard of sorts (we squat in front of the potty, so he faces the back while he pees)-I know that sounds gross, but we do clean it afterwards!
The other place I got information was www.diaperfreebaby.com-be warned, they sometimes make it sound like you are committing child abuse if you aren't fully EC-ing...but there is a lot of good how to information on there, and having now done it myself and watched a few people do it, I am convinced that you can be as full or part time with it as you want-babies are smarter than you think!
Oh, and I LOVE the fact that we have only washed one poopy diaper in the last month or more!
We are not experts by any means! We first learned about it from my sister in law who did it with her kiddos. I thought it was an awesome idea but was skeptical as to whether it would work for us. I knew that, as a working mama, I would not be able to be nearly as consistent as she is with it-and both her her littles are girls, whereas mine is a boy! So I wasn't sure how those factors might change our success with it.
I set my goals fairly low at the beginning. My ideal world was that by the time Ben was eating solid foods, he would be doing all or most of his poop in the potty. Breastmilk poop is not a big deal or hard to clean. Solid food poop-a whole other (stinky) ball of wax!
I don't remember exactly when we started taking Ben to the potty. It was while I was still on maternity leave, so he must have been less than 3 months old. We noticed around this time that he almost always pooped within 30 minutes of waking up, so we would wait on the bed with him until he started to get "that look" and make some straining noises, and then rip off his diaper and rush to the potty. He wasn't old enough to sit up yet, so we sort of had him on his back (supported in our arms) with his butt over the potty. The first few times were a little messy (sometimes we didn't start rushing in time, other times we misread when he was done), but eventually, we started to notice a pattern: he woke up (often with a dry diaper) and waited for us to take him potty before he went.
We started trying to pay attention at other times when we thought he might need to go. He makes a certain face and has a specific grunting noise when he is getting ready to poop (sorry that's kinda vague-but I've heard that different babies have different signals) so we started being able to catch it in the potty. Hooray! At first, I was "cuing" him by hissing (you're supposed to cue them so they know it's time to go) but then I went back to work and his Dad started taking him-Josh thought it would be fun/funny to grunt at him when he wanted him to go, so that became his signal. However, Ben thinks it's hilarious when I grunt at him (it probably is, to be fair) so now he doesn't really have an audible signal, at least from me (unless you count me telling him, "Okay, I'm ready!" once we are situated over the potty)...but I still think he knows what to do, as he ALWAYS does some kind of potty when we get him into position.
We went through a bad run (haha) of diarrhea for about a week-he was pooping every 30 minutes, so we didn't even try to get him to the potty for most of those. I was a little worried that he would forget, but no-once he started moving his bowels more normally, we resumed pooping in the potty without a problem.
I am not trying to get him to pee in the potty (though he almost always does when he poops and sometimes he just pees if I have misread his need/desire to poop)-I think this would be stressful for us and him, and I don't mind washing wet diapers in the slightest. I also don't worry about it if we have an accident and he ends up pooping in his diaper-in all, we are very chill about it. At first, I wondered if I was really saving us time, because the whole "potty" experience definitely took way longer than changing a diaper! However, now he has gotten pretty fast, and it's maybe 1-3 minutes at most! We have honestly used our diaper sprayer to hose down his little tushy after he goes way more often than we have used it to spray diapers (he doesn't seem to mind and it gets his butt clean way better than toilet paper!).
As for him being a boy-the biggest issue with this is that it's hard to aim him, and if I shift him while he is peeing, he stops. So we have perfected the art of using the back of the potty seat as a backboard of sorts (we squat in front of the potty, so he faces the back while he pees)-I know that sounds gross, but we do clean it afterwards!
The other place I got information was www.diaperfreebaby.com-be warned, they sometimes make it sound like you are committing child abuse if you aren't fully EC-ing...but there is a lot of good how to information on there, and having now done it myself and watched a few people do it, I am convinced that you can be as full or part time with it as you want-babies are smarter than you think!
Oh, and I LOVE the fact that we have only washed one poopy diaper in the last month or more!
Monday, February 11, 2013
8 month update
I actually have thoughts percolating for non-directly-baby-update related blog posts but haven't had a chance to sit down and sort them out into something semi-coherent!
My sweet son is 8 months old today! Truly, nothing has cemented into my brain how fast time flies like having a child. I don't know if it is because he changes so quickly and grows so much, or what...but the time seems like it has slipped away at an ever-increasing rate. I look at his baby pictures and barely recognize that tiny newborn. Of course, I think he has only gotten more adorable with time, but it sure is a bittersweet thing!
New things he is doing:
He sits up very well by himself now. He definitely still can lose his balance and go toppling over, but I "trust" him a little bit more. He can also play with toys while sitting up-so fun!
He DEFINITELY has "being left" anxiety-which is kind of funny given that we don't really ever leave him! If he sees us walking away, the world ends. (sometimes even if Daddy walks away WHILE he is being held by Mommy or vice versa!!) The "nice" side of that is that he definitely knows who we are and will reach for us or try to move over to us, which is really sweet. :-)
He laughs and smiles and babbles a lot more. In general, he is just a lot more interactive, which is so fun! I especially love it when he lets loose with giggling and belly laughing. I keep trying to get a video, but he usually stops by the time I get the camera out! But him being happy and laughing just fills our hearts to overflowing!
He rolls as a means of locomotion now-and he can also kind of "squirm" and army crawl to get to things. I think real crawling is on the horizon...oh boy, we are about to find out how not childproof our house is!
He likes to eat paper. I don't know why.
If we are drinking water, we HAVE to share it with him. I'm not sure why water is so awesome, but the world ENDS if we don't give him some!
He has discovered crying/throwing mini fits as a means of expressing displeasure. I'm not super thrilled about this, but I guess at least he is letting us know!
He hugs and kisses now-which is SO precious and melts my heart every time.
I'm trying to teach him some signs-I'm not sure if he has the motor control yet, but we'll see if he picks up on them!
He has a new habit of waking up to pee at about 4 AM. Not my favorite thing ever either, but that's okay-everything is a stage, and I am so aware of how fast the time is flying and how I will miss his current stage's joys when the struggles are over!
I think he is growing again. It seems to me that he is getting heavier (I would guess he weighs in the 25-27 lb range now). Even the Ergo isn't super comfortable for me anymore!
He has 2 teeth that are now quite well defined. They are VERY cute but sometimes painful!
He goes to bed on his own quite well-usually around 7 PM and he typically stays down until I wake him up right before I go to bed to eat (that way I get at least some sleep before his first night waking!).
He eats solids pretty well-mostly fruits and veggies, though he does get some legumes in there sometimes. He's gotten really good at gumming/chewing things and then swallowing them.
He can ALMOST get the cheerios into his own mouth. ;-)
I think those are the major changes...we continue to enjoy him more and more. Parenthood is definitely not a walk in the park in the sense of being easy (or even fun all the time) but it is absolutely one of the most wonderful things that has ever happened to me!
My sweet son is 8 months old today! Truly, nothing has cemented into my brain how fast time flies like having a child. I don't know if it is because he changes so quickly and grows so much, or what...but the time seems like it has slipped away at an ever-increasing rate. I look at his baby pictures and barely recognize that tiny newborn. Of course, I think he has only gotten more adorable with time, but it sure is a bittersweet thing!
New things he is doing:
He sits up very well by himself now. He definitely still can lose his balance and go toppling over, but I "trust" him a little bit more. He can also play with toys while sitting up-so fun!
He DEFINITELY has "being left" anxiety-which is kind of funny given that we don't really ever leave him! If he sees us walking away, the world ends. (sometimes even if Daddy walks away WHILE he is being held by Mommy or vice versa!!) The "nice" side of that is that he definitely knows who we are and will reach for us or try to move over to us, which is really sweet. :-)
He laughs and smiles and babbles a lot more. In general, he is just a lot more interactive, which is so fun! I especially love it when he lets loose with giggling and belly laughing. I keep trying to get a video, but he usually stops by the time I get the camera out! But him being happy and laughing just fills our hearts to overflowing!
He rolls as a means of locomotion now-and he can also kind of "squirm" and army crawl to get to things. I think real crawling is on the horizon...oh boy, we are about to find out how not childproof our house is!
He likes to eat paper. I don't know why.
If we are drinking water, we HAVE to share it with him. I'm not sure why water is so awesome, but the world ENDS if we don't give him some!
He has discovered crying/throwing mini fits as a means of expressing displeasure. I'm not super thrilled about this, but I guess at least he is letting us know!
He hugs and kisses now-which is SO precious and melts my heart every time.
I'm trying to teach him some signs-I'm not sure if he has the motor control yet, but we'll see if he picks up on them!
He has a new habit of waking up to pee at about 4 AM. Not my favorite thing ever either, but that's okay-everything is a stage, and I am so aware of how fast the time is flying and how I will miss his current stage's joys when the struggles are over!
I think he is growing again. It seems to me that he is getting heavier (I would guess he weighs in the 25-27 lb range now). Even the Ergo isn't super comfortable for me anymore!
He has 2 teeth that are now quite well defined. They are VERY cute but sometimes painful!
He goes to bed on his own quite well-usually around 7 PM and he typically stays down until I wake him up right before I go to bed to eat (that way I get at least some sleep before his first night waking!).
He eats solids pretty well-mostly fruits and veggies, though he does get some legumes in there sometimes. He's gotten really good at gumming/chewing things and then swallowing them.
He can ALMOST get the cheerios into his own mouth. ;-)
I think those are the major changes...we continue to enjoy him more and more. Parenthood is definitely not a walk in the park in the sense of being easy (or even fun all the time) but it is absolutely one of the most wonderful things that has ever happened to me!
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